The Parlor
by Jonesn
Summary: It's a lie, a pawn, a believable excuse to get her back in my chair. Inkward. *Complete*
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**This is my new bunny; the cute kind with a little button nose, and big floppy ears. I'm using it as a freeing exercise, an outlet. This will not be beta'd, and I will not be checking my spelling, just writing. Mistakes are my own.**

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_**E**_

We finally made it. After years, and years of struggle, and failure we're finally opening the shop.

But what to name it, that's the last of this long, overdue feat.

"Phat Tatts, but with a 'ph'." Emmett muses, his humor falling flat. We were all too tired for this shit.

"That's a fucking awful name." Even Jasper, the calm, collected one had had his fill.

"Why don't we all just go home, write down some names, and then sleep on it? We'll decide tomorrow." He looks to me, and I nod.

"Yeah, tomorrow."

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No update schedule. I refuse to stress over this. ;) Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

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_**E**_

Drained, I take the steps two at a time.

They creak, and whine beneath my boots, telling their age. This place is a dump, but it's my dump.

I just have to keep telling myself that.

Lifting my shirt up and over my head, it gets caught on the silver bar protruding from my chin, and it's smarts.

"Fuck."

Tossing it aside, I unbuckle my jeans, yanking them off one leg at a time.

Then I'm standing there, staring in the full length mirror, wondering why I even have one.

Covered from neck to ankles, this ink, this art it's not for my viewing pleasure, no, it's to hide behind.

And, I do it well.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

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_******E**_

It's tomorrow.

Today we decide what name to hang above our new, glass door, and I didn't write anything down.

I don't care.

But, that's a lie.

"Okay, I hope you all took this seriously. Emmett, you especially." Jasper points at the deep, dimpled goon.

"We're going to put our potentials in here." He lifts the brown, and white truckers hat from his shaggy, blonde head. Flipping it over, he holds it out, and everyone throws in a name; everyone, but me.

I don't care.

Lie.

Hours of vetoes later we still haven't reached a decision, so I make one.

"The Parlor."

Everyone quiets; looking over their shoulders, their considering eyes land on me.

"The Parlor." Jasper repeats. "I like it. All in favor?"

"Aye."

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	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

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_******E**_

"Opening day, can you believe it? With all we've been through, did you ever think this was going to happen?" Alice beams. Eyeing me, she holds tight to Jasper's arm.

"Nope." Taking a long drag from my second cigarette of the day, I change the subject.

"How many clients do we have lined up?" I ask, knowing she's easily distracted by her anal bookkeeping.

Throwing the butt down, I stomp it out, and hold the door open. I follow them back in, while she drones on about boring tramp stamps, and inappropriate piercings. The tinkling charm of the bell thankfully puts an end to her rant.

"Look right, Masen. We have our first walk-in. You want me to take this one?"

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I wonder who it is?! :D Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**E**_

At first glance my heart speeds. It takes everything I have not to stare.

"No, I got it." Stepping behind the counter, I lift my eyes long enough to acknowledge her.

I'm not sure if I smile, but she does, and my stomach jumps.

I clear my throat.

"What can I help you with today?"

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What can he help _you_ with today? ;) Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

"Uh, I want a tattoo. You guys do that, right?" She jokes, and now, I know I'm smiling.

Her voice both calms, and excites me at the same time, and it's unnerving.

"Definitely. Do you know what you want? If not, we have this book of designs." I hand her my portfolio, and she shakes her head.

My heart falls, wanting her to see my work; to like it.

"No, I know what I want."

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Yeah, she knows what she wants. ;) Thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

She reaches into her back pocket, causing loose waves of long, brown hair to fall over her shoulder.

Her blue, and white, striped sweater pulls at her middle, showing hidden curves, and my heart skips.

It takes my breath away.

_She _takes my breath away.

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	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

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_******E**_

"Here."

She hands me a squared piece of paper, and I unfold it, intrigued by her choice.

"It's a quill." I nod.

"I thought…" She stops, and I look up, really look into her deep, brown eyes, willing her to tell me; to tell me everything.

I want to know.

I want to know everything.

I want to know her.

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	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

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_******E**_

"I _want_ the point to start here." She points to the outer side of her index finger, showing me what she means, and I nod.

"The body would go up along the side of my hand, like this." She traces along, pulling her sleeve up as she goes. I lick my dry lips, as she settles on the creamy, exposed skin of her forearm.

"I'd like the feather to span the inside of my arm, or whatever you think would work best." She finishes; a slight blush staining her cheeks.

I like it.

"I like it."

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	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Her brown eyes beam, and it makes me feel warm.

"I'll have to transfer this. Do you think you could come back in tomorrow around the same time? You can look it over, make sure it's what you want, and then we can schedule your first session." She smiles, showing me her perfect, white teeth.

"Yeah, that sounds great. Thank you…" She holds out her hand, waiting for my name, and I take it.

"Edward."

She's soft, just like I thought she would be.

"Bella."

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	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

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_******E**_

_Bella_

Her name lingers, along with her touch, and her scent, and I'm not the only one who notices.

"Bella and Edward sittin' in a tree k-i-s-s-i-s-s-i… wait a minute. Rose, how do you spell kissing?" Emmett turns toward the piercing station, in search of his smarter half, and my pen just misses the back of his big, dumb head.

"Don't listen to him, he can't even spell kissing." Alice pats my shoulder, and I nod.

"She's pretty."

I nod again.

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	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I sleep peacefully for the first time in forever, covered in blankets of auburn brown, bathing in chocolate waterfalls.

My alarm goes off for the first time since I bought it.

My stomach rolls as I climb out of bed.

It flutters as I get dressed, and walk down the creaking stairs.

It tightens when I hear the chime of the bell.

I know it's her.

Without looking, I know it's her.

The smell of fresh soap, and my body's reaction give her away.

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	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

"Morning." She smiles.

I smile. "Morning."

Resting her elbows on the hollow, glass counter, she looks at me expectantly, and I hand her the transferred print.

"This looks great, Edward." She says, and my heart jumps with each syllable that comes from her pink mouth.

"When can we get started?"

I watch her face fall, as I tell her I'm booked for the next two days, and I start to sweat; scared she might change her mind, go someplace else, and I just can't have that.

"If you want, you can come back tonight. I can do the final trace. It would be after hours, but I don't mind."

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	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I lick my bottom lip, as she bites hers.

"Are you sure? I don't want to be an inconvenience. I can come back whenever." I shake my head, licking my dry lips once more.

"I want you to." I blurt, and she blushes, turning her head away from me.

"I mean, it's no trouble, just come back tonight."

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	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

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_******E**_

The rest of my day drags.

All I can think about is Bella.

The color of her cheeks.

The life in her eyes.

The curve of her mouth when she smiles.

The way her hair shines as it falls over her shoulder.

I'm wondering what it would be like to run my hands through it when my needle digs a little too deep.

"Fuck, man! What the fuck?"

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	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

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_******E**_

I shave a little off the top to make up for the additional pain.

It's a loss, but hell, I deserve it.

I'm just lucky the guy is being so cool about it.

"What's going on with you, Man? You've been distracted all day." Jasper asks, concern heavy in his eyes.

"Eddie-boy here just needs to get laid, that's all. Don't you, Eddie?"

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	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

When I don't correct him, Emmett continues.

"I know a few girls. I could introduce you, if you want."

I narrow my stare.

"No, I don't fucking want, Emmett. At least, no one you have in mind."

He scoffs, rolling his eyes.

"Whatever, Dude, just trying to help out little Eddie there. How long has it been anyway?"

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	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

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_******E**_

"Shut up, Emmett. He can find his own girl… when he's ready." Jasper chimes in, thinking he's defending my honor, but he's really just pissing me off.

"Why don't the both of you shut the fuck up, huh? I thought we agreed not to talk about this shit in the shop."

They both have the decency to look guilty, so I let it go.

And, I let if go just in time for the tinkling charm of the bell.

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	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

My anxiety mounts because I know it's her.

But, it calms when I see her smile.

"I'm early, I know. Is that okay?"

I want to tell her it's more than okay.

I want to tell her that I've been waiting to see her all day.

But, I don't.

I've already said too much; telling her I _want_ her to come back.

So, I nod instead.

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	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I act busy while she takes a seat.

I try to act nonchalant, sneaking peeks as she crosses and uncrosses her legs, flipping through a magazine.

I'm stalling, keeping her here for my own creepy pleasure.

I like looking at her.

She's nice to look at.

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	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

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_******E**_

I wait until the nosey fuckers I call friends leave before I talk to her.

"You could look at this." I hold out my portfolio.

Desperate.

Desperate for her to see it; to see my work.

I want to share it with her.

I want to share everything with her.

And, it scares me.

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	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

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_******E**_

"It's better than that shit."

She smiles, crinkling her little nose.

It's cute.

Too cute.

So cute, I can't stand it.

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	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

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_******E**_

She takes my life's work from my hands.

Fingering the black, leather cover, she traces the silver of my engraved initials.

"E.A. Masen. Is that you?" She looks up, her eyes lingering on my neck, and it makes me wonder if she likes my ink.

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	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

"What's your middle name?" She asks, and my insides run hot.

"Wait." She holds up her hand.

"Don't tell me. Let me guess." She hums, biting the end of her thumb.

She's too cute.

"Allen."

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	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

miling, I shake my head.

"Adam?" Smiling bigger, I shake my head again.

"Alex."

"Arthur."

"Abraham?"

I chuckle at that last one, and she groans.

My stomach tightens at the sound, and I cough, trying to cover my surprise.

"Well then, I give up. What is it?"

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	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

"Anthony." I confess, and she crinkles her cute, little nose again.

"That was my next guess." I smile.

"Uh-huh." I taunt, tapping my tongue ring against the back of my teeth.

"You think you can do better?" She challenges, and I accept with a nod.

"Marie."

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	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Her mouth drops, and I laugh.

I notice her eyeing the stainless steel inside my mouth, and I wonder if she likes that too.

"Wha- How?" I let her stutter, as I bite the thick metal, allowing her a better look.

* * *

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	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

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_******E**_

"Your driver's license. I saw it yesterday." I'm pretty sure I wink, and I never wink.

"Good memory." I wink again, tapping the side of my head, making her blush her darkest shade yet.

"Real smooth, Masen." Her voice deepens, and I feel it in my bones.

"I try."

* * *

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	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Jerking my head, I lead her to the back.

I don't need some idiot seeing us, and knocking on the window.

You'd be surprised by the number of people who can't read.

It's dark, and I'm not used to this place.

I feel her grab my elbow as I skim the wall, in search of the light switch.

Her hand is cold, but welcome to touch me.

She lets go when I flip it on, and I consider flipping it back off.

"Sorry."

* * *

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	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

"No need to be sorry." I let out a nervous huff, pointing to the chair, and she sits.

"I'm just going to trace it tonight. It will tickle. You'll get the needle tomorrow, which won't.. tickle, I mean." I briefly look up before taking her arm. I lift the arm rest, and place it on my knee.

I can feel her pulse pounding beneath my thumb.

"Tomorrow?" She questions, her voice quiet, and I nod.

"Yeah, I thought you could come in after hours again. Ya know, if you want."

* * *

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	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I look back up, and she's looking down at me.

Her mouth agape, I can see her pink tongue, and I wonder how it tastes.

I want to know.

More than anything, I want to know.

"Are you sure it won't cut into your personal time? Your girlfriend won't mind?"

Shaking my head, I look down, hiding my smile.

"Don't have one."

* * *

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	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

"What about you? Your boyfriend won't mind you spending all of your extra time with an old, tatted, washed up freak?" I blurt out, not really sure why I said all that.

"You're not a freak." She whispers, clearing her throat.

"And, you can't be that old." She adds, fishing for my age, and I can't blame her; only being twenty-one herself.

"I'm twenty-nine."

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	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

She rolls her eyes, resting her head back on the chair.

I grab the cleanser, placing the pad on her arm, and she shivers.

"What, you don't consider thirty old?" She smiles.

"Well yeah, but you're not thirty."

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	34. Chapter 34

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

We fall into a comfortable silence, while I cleanse her skin.

When she sees the razor, she jerks her arm away from me, effectively putting an end to the silence.

"What's that for?" I chuckle.

"I have to shave the area." Her brows furrow, and I grab her arm, placing back on my knee. I run my finger up the length, skimming soft skin.

"Can you feel that?" She nods.

"I have to shave these fine hairs, otherwise they can get imbedded, infected, or caught in the gun causing more pain, and I don't want to do that. They won't grow back in thicker, I promise." She nods, visibly relaxing, and I feel a strong urge to kiss her, comfort her.

"Okay."

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	35. Chapter 35

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I can't help the pride I feel, knowing I'm the first; the first to mark her, at least, on her skin.

"When did you start?.. getting tattoos, I mean. When did you start?" She asks, while I quickly trace the point of the pen.

"I was eighteen. I started on my left shoulder, and the scales grew from there. I just finished them last year. Jasper refused to do my feet, hands, and face." I answer truthfully, concentrating on the trace of the stem.

"Why don't you go to someone else?" I stop, looking up at her curious eyes.

"Then, I really would be a freak."

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	36. Chapter 36

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

She doesn't say anything, only stares right back.

"I'm pretty sure your boyfriend would have a problem with that, now wouldn't he?"

I probe.

She didn't answer me before.

Blinking, she licks her lips, and I continue to trace.

"Don't have one." She repeats my words to me.

"Good."

* * *

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	37. Chapter 37

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

We revert back to silence while I work on the trace.

I concentrate on her breathing; the rise and fall of her chest; the small sounds that she makes.

I inhale deeply, taking in her scent, over and over.

Clean and fresh, it's like nothing I've ever smelled before.

It's her.

All her.

* * *

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	38. Chapter 38

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

**I don't have the first clue about getting a tattoo, so just go with it. **

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_******E**_

I cover the trace, making sure she knows how to protect it.

I leave out the fact that it could have been done faster, and during her first session.

I know it's wrong, but I needed to see her.

I need to see her as much as possible.

But, I can't tell her.

I can't tell her that I need to see her.

I can't tell her how she's beautiful, or how she makes me feel.

I can't tell her that I don't want her to leave.

I just can't.

* * *

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	39. Chapter 39

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Cleaning up my station, I watch her out of the corner of my eye.

She's looking through my book; halfway through when she finally speaks.

I breathe a sigh of relief.

"These are beautiful, Edward. You're really talented. Did you go to school for this?" Finishing up, I shake my head.

I lean against the counter next to her, making sure to touch her.

Elbow to elbow.

"No, but I did get my business degree."

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	40. Chapter 40

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

"Did you always want to own a tattoo parlor?" Turning to face me, she places her arm on the counter, still touching me.

She's so close.

So close, I can feel her bent knee against the side of my leg.

Her breath heats my shoulder, and I fight the urge to close my eyes.

"No." I whisper, clearing my throat; on the verge of telling her; just telling her everything.

I want to.

"There was a point in time when I didn't want to do anything; anything but…"

She's looking at me; giving me a look that says she's interested, she's listening, she cares.

And, I'm going to tell her.

I'm opening my mouth to tell her when there's a loud knock on the glass.

* * *

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* * *

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	41. Chapter 41

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I'm furious, annoyed, beyond pissed when I look over to see Emmett standing at the door.

I realize I'm shaking when I feel her fingers on the underside of my bicep.

She's strokes me, lightly scratching the skin with her nails, and I lean into her; almost resting my forehead against hers, but I catch myself.

I pull away, leaving her at the counter, missing her touch, missing her.

She's comforting, confounding.

Everything about her moves me, alters my very core, and I want my moment back.

I want it back.

* * *

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	42. Chapter 42

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I stand there, staring through the glass.

I let Emmett know with a look.

Just one look, and he knows what he's done; what he can't undo.

Turning the lock with more force than necessary, I let it feel my anger.

It's too much for me to handle on my own.

It's all too much.

* * *

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	43. Chapter 43

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

"I'm sorry, E." It's the first thing he mumbles, fumbling over his footing, as he walks through the open door.

He's not drunk, it's just him.

Big, and dumb.

I ignore him, turning back to Bella, and I run into her; not realizing she had been standing right behind me.

Grunting, she grabs hold of my shirt, and I wrap an arm around her middle; telling myself I'm keeping her from falling; just keeping her from falling, that's it.

But, I really just want to hold her.

"I should probably go."

* * *

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	44. Chapter 44

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

My insides are screaming, begging her to stay; don't go, not yet, not ever.

Pulling her in, I give her a hug, and she slowly hugs me back.

Her arms wrap, skimming the thin material of my tee, just above the skin.

She feels small, warm, and all kinds of right.

I sniff the top of her head, as she rests it against my chest.

"Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	45. Chapter 45

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

The air is suffocating, tight.

It smells of suffering; the sorrows, and sweat of struggling men, women, and kids; all these people.

All these people who are just like me.

I don't want to be like them, but I am.

I hear them talk, and hope beyond hope I'm not like them; that I don't sound like them.

But deep down, I know that I am, and I do.

"Edward, is there anything you would like to talk about tonight?"

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	46. Chapter 46

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

No.

"No."

Not tonight.

"Not tonight."

Any night, but tonight.

My knee bounces, my forehead, back, and underarms sweat.

Everyone is looking at me, thinking the worst.

I know they're thinking the worst.

"It's not what you think."

Great, be defensive; that's not suspicious at all.

"I actually have to be somewhere. I have to meet someone." I cringe at how bad everything I'm saying sounds.

"A girl. It's a girl. I have to meet a girl."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	47. Chapter 47

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

The meeting adjourns, and I take to the streets; trying unsuccessfully to maneuver through the crowd.

"Edward! Edward! Wait up!"

Jake, my old sponsor, yells after me.

I consider acting like I can't hear him, but that's the old me, so I don't.

I stop.

I turn.

"Yeah?"

I wait, even though I know exactly what he's going to say.

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	48. Chapter 48

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

"So, you met someone?" He gives me a big, toothy grin.

I smile back.

Kind of.

"Have you told her?" His smile dims, but never leaves his eyes.

When I don't say anything, he continues.

"You know you have to tell her, right?" He asks, and I nod, pulling the ends of my hair.

He pats my shoulder.

"I know how you're feeling, believe me. But, the sooner you tell her, the sooner you'll know, ya know.. if she can handle it."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	49. Chapter 49

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I know exactly what he means.

I also remember his relapse after Leah left him.

And, I would like to think that I'm stronger than that.

But, maybe I'm not.

What if I'm not?

"Yeah, I know." I give him a sympathetic smile.

"It's just.." He stops, and I urge him to continue.

"I know you were into some hard shit, way harder than me, and I know how easy it can be to start up again. So, I guess I just want to say that I'm here. If you need me, call. Same number."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	50. Chapter 50

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I appease him by showing him he's still in my speed dial.

Number two, right behind my mom.

We part ways with a fist bump.

Handshakes are too formal.

My quick steps turn into a light jog, as the drizzle turns into a down pour.

When I finally make it to the shop, Bella's waiting outside.

In the rain.

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	51. Chapter 51

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

She's drenched, soaked to the bone, and all I can think is how good she looks.

Her wet sweater clings to wet skin, leaving nothing to the imagination.

I shakily try to unlock the door, dropping the keys twice before finally fitting them into the hole.

I usher her through in front of me, taking one last lingering look.

"I'm sorry, I should have been here." Her whole body shakes, not just her head.

"It's no problem. Do you have a towel?"

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	52. Chapter 52

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I nod, jerking my head toward the stairs.

When she doesn't follow, I hold out my hand, and she takes it.

She's cold, but I don't care.

Cold or not, I want more than anything to be touching her.

We take the steps slowly, one at a time.

They creak, and whine like they always do.

I reluctantly let go of her, as I pick up stray clothing, and magazines; in search of a clean towel.

"So, you live above the shop?"

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	53. Chapter 53

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

******This one's for silviafarro… because you said please. ;)**

* * *

_******E**_

"Uh, yeah."

Scratching the back of my neck, I hand her the driest towel I can find.

"That's convenient."

Taking the fluffy, blue cotton from my hands, she turns away from me, lifting the sweater up and over her head, and I cough.

"Uh, yeah."

Running my hands over the two day scruff of my jaw, I keep them busy.

They tingle, twitch, wanting; needing to touch her.

My breathing picks up as she reaches behind her back, unsnapping the clasp of her white, soaked-through bra.

"Bella."

* * *

Come on now.. I deserve some love for this one. lol ;) Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	54. Chapter 54

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

**You guys have got me by the balls. **

* * *

_******E**_

"Hmm?" She hums, sending vibrations through air, through the space between us.

I can feel it.

I can feel them.

They shake me, and I shiver.

Licking my lips, I swallow.

"I don't have a dryer, but I can give you one of my shirts."

Wrapping the towel around her small frame, she shimmies out of her jeans.

Her white cotton panties follow, and I bite my knuckles.

"That would be good."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	55. Chapter 55

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I'm digging through my drawer, elbows deep in an unfolded mess of clothes, searching for my longest shirt when I hear her bare feet patter across the floor.

"Aren't you cold?"

She's close, right behind me.

I clear my throat.

"Uh.. no, I'm okay."

My heart speeds when I feel her lift the back of my tee.

"You're soaked. You have to be cold."

She reaches passed me, taking out the first shirt she grabs, and pulls it over her head; dropping the towel after she's been covered.

"Here."

Bending at the knees, she picks it up, and hands it to me.

"Take it off, or I will."

* * *

*wiggles eyebrows* I think our Bella wants to see some hidden ink. ;) Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	56. Chapter 56

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

**********Sus - AKA Cullendriver, you read my mind. ; )**

* * *

_******E**_

I consider refusing.

See if she'll really follow through.

"Oh, will you now?" I feel a smirk pull at my cheek when she nods, reaching for the hem.

I let her lift it as high as my chest, then take over, pulling it up and over my head.

"Did those hurt?" She lightly tugs on one of my nipple rings, sending a jolt to my groin, and I carelessly grunt.

"Oh sorry, did I hurt you?" I cough, covering my mouth.

I shake my head, grabbing the towel to hold it over the zipper of my tightening jeans.

I had forgotten how good that shit feels.

"No, not at all."

* * *

:)))) Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	57. Chapter 57

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Her smile is shy, and I wonder if she knows what she's doing to me.

"So, it took ten years to do this?" Stepping closer, she places her hand on my naked chest, palming dark green, silver lined scales.

"Give or take." I tighten my grip on the towel, trying not to touch her.

I want to touch her.

_Does she want me to?_

"They're beautiful." Looking up, she skims the masked skin.

Her deep, brown eyes hold my wide green.

"_You're_ beautiful."

The heat from her hand, and the boldness of her words brand me.

My chest burns.

"Can I see the rest?"

* * *

O_O Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	58. Chapter 58

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

**********Whew Bella, gettin a little bold there aren't ya? *fans self***

* * *

_******E**_

I let out a held breath.

I want to show her, I do.

But, if I drop my pants, I know what she'll see.

She'll see what she's done to me, what she does to me.

And, the old me would have had no problem with that.

The old me would have touched her, taken her, maybe already shown her the door.

The old me was an asshole.

I need to be more cautious, considering, careful.

I want her.

More than anything, I want her.

But.. not like this.

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	59. Chapter 59

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

"Bella.."

She hums.

"I like you.. a lot."

Stepping closer, her finger lightly runs over my other nipple ring, and I close my eyes.

"I like you too, Edward.. a lot."

I can feel her through the thin shirt, all warm and soft.

Her hot breath fans over me; so close to the cold metal, and I imagine her replacing that finger with her mouth.

"Fuck."

Dropping the towel, I dig my palms into my eyes.

I need her to stop touching me.

"Please." She whispers, her little hands finding their way to the buckle of my jeans.

My breath quickens as I let her fingers slide underneath, loosening the button before grabbing her wrist.

"Wait."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	60. Chapter 60

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

She halts her movement, looking up at me.

Her pretty brown eyes confused, questioning.

"I really, really like you, Bella. And, I want to do this, believe me, I want to." I sigh, pulling her hands from my jeans, keeping hold of her.

"But, I don't think we should; not now, not yet." I hold her wide stare, willing her to understand, lightly thumbing the inside of her wrist.

"Okay." She pulls away, her whisper laced with hurt.

"I'm sorry. It's.. I.." I stutter, and she shakes her head, giving me a sad smile.

"No, I'm sorry. I don't know what got into me. I think.. I think I should just go."

She picks up her jeans, stumbling, trying to pull them on one wet leg at a time.

I grab her arm to steady her.

"Let me take you home."

* * *

Who wants another one?! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	61. Chapter 61

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

This one's for****** LMBB,** and everyone else who has been stuck in the middle of Sandy's and this nor'easter's shenanigans. I'm right there with ya!

* * *

_******E**_

"You don't have to." I hold onto her until she's done dressing; only letting go long enough to grab a sweatshirt out of the closet.

"I want to."

I place it over her head, lifting her hair from inside the neck, and kiss her forehead.

My lips linger.

Feeling her hands against my chest, I wrap her in my arms.

"You ready?" She nods against my mouth, and I smile.

I pick a shirt, pulling it over my head, and take her hand, leading her back down the creaking steps.

Covering her head with the hood, I hold her close as we run out into the pouring rain.

* * *

One more? Yes? No? Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	62. Chapter 62

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

The drive to her house is quiet, and somewhat uncomfortable; the only spoken words being directions.

Squinting out the blurry windshield, I'm considering all the ways to say goodnight.

Of course I'm going to walk her to the door, but then what?

What do I say?

What do I do?

Do I kiss her forehead again?

Kiss her cheek?

Her mouth?

Glancing over, I see she's looking out the passenger side window, biting her bottom lip.

I definitely want to kiss her mouth.

But, should I?

"Right there, that's it."

I pull up to the curb, climbing out of the car to open her door.

She takes my hand, and we run across the lawn, up the steps, coming to stand outside the front door.

I'm trying to think of the right words to say when the door suddenly swings open.

"Mom, you're home!"

* * *

Who gasped? Anybody's mouth drop open? Did I lose anybody? Just curious. *snickers* Thanks for reading and reviewing! **Please note: This is a drabble, which means I00 or so words a chap, some might be a little longer, some might not. I do not have a schedule or length concerning this story, nor will I. **


	63. Chapter 63

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

_Mom?_

"Who are you?" The little boy looks up at me with wide, innocent eyes.

Brown eyes, just like his.. mom.

"Tyler, this is my friend, Edward. Edward this is Tyler, my son." Bella looks up at me with a similar expression; most likely afraid I'm going to run.

I realize I've got a death grip on her hand when Tyler touches my arm.

"What's this all over you? Did you paint yourself?" His blunt question catches me off guard, and a burst of laughter escapes my throat.

He smiles, giggling.

"What are they?" He lightly scratches my skin, and I tell him.

"Scales." His eyes widen further.

"Are you the bad guy?" He asks, and I'm genuinely confused.

I look over at Bella to find her biting back laughter.

"The bad guy's usually have scales, and the good guy's wear tights." I smile, shaking my head.

"No, I'm not the bad guy."

Stepping back, he opens the door further.

"Good, then you can come in. Do you like hot chocolate?"

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	64. Chapter 64

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I look at Bella, silently asking her if I should, if it's okay; surprised to find myself actually wanting to.

Smiling, she jerks her head.

"Come on." I follow her in, still clutching at her small hand, and Tyler grabs my other.

"Kitchen's this way. Grandpa Charlie just made it, so you know it's gonna be good!" My heart drops, stomach flips.

_Did he just say grandpa?_

My feet slow, but Tyler's surprisingly strong, pulling me in the direction of the kitchen.

I swallow thickened spit as we round the corner, expecting the worst.

The man's flannel clad back stays turned, as Tyler pulls out a chair.

"Sit here, Edward, right beside me."

* * *

*snickers* Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	65. Chapter 65

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Sitting, I assess my breathing.

Not too loud, not too fast.

I work, struggle to keep it together, to not walk out.

I don't _want_ to walk out.

My heart pounds, punching my chest, and I look down, making sure it's not visible, not obvious it's trying to escape.

I've never done the 'meet the parents' thing, not once, never wanted to; always too high, too high to care, too high to function.

Scratching the nape of my neck, I take a deep breath in, wishing I were high right now.

But, then I feel her.

Her cool fingers curl, lightly scratching the inside of my palm, and I breathe out.

"Who's this?"

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	66. Chapter 66

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Tyler climbs down from his chair, coming to stand beside me, he pats my shoulder.

"This is my new friend, Edward. He has scales, but he's not a bad guy." I notice a twitch in grandpa's mustache, a crinkling around his tired eyes, and I calm a little bit more.

"And I suppose Edward, the good guy, wants some hot chocolate, as well?" He looks to me, and I nod.

"Uh yes, thank you."

Turning away, he grunts, and the anxious feeling is back; even worse than before, and I squeeze Bella's supportive hand.

She squeezes back.

Taking another deep breath, I slowly let it out, willing my heart to settle, willing my voice not to crack.

"Can I help with anything?" I ask, faking confidence, and he stops stirring, looking back over his shoulder.

"Hey squirt, show the good guy where we keep the mugs, would ya? Your mom can't reach 'em."

* * *

He's trying, God love 'em. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	67. Chapter 67

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I stand, and Tyler grabs my hand, leading me to the far side of the kitchen, away from Bella.

My body senses the distance, but my heart slows, distracted by movement, the simple task at hand.

It helps feeling useful.

"They're up there." He points before attempting to climb onto the counter.

"Here." He turns to me, lifting his arms.

"Help me up, and I'll show you." My eyes travel from Bella to Charlie, and he silently nods.

Bending at the waist, I grab Tyler under his arms, and place him on the counter.

I take the three mugs he hands me, and give them to Charlie.

"Spiderman, or Turtles?" Tyler balances himself with my shoulder, waiting for my answer, and I shrug.

"You pick." He taps his chin.

"Turtles cause they're green, and they have scales."

* * *

Another? Yes? No? Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	68. Chapter 68

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Everyone laughs, including me.

"Good choice." I approve, and Tyler grins.

Handing the cup to his grandpa, he jumps off the counter, and into my unsuspecting arms.

I let out a loud grunt.

"Tyler, be careful." Bella lightly scolds, and I wink, letting her know I'm okay, it's all right.

"What's that?" Wiggling, he looks down, confusion all over his face.

He runs his tiny hand over my shirt, and it's suddenly apparent what he feels.

_Shit._

"Uh.." I look at Bella, wide-eyed, and panicked.

"There's something under your shirt." I grab his wrist before he grabs my ring.

"Uh.. Bella?"

* * *

Should I leave you guys hanging here? I don't know.. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	69. Chapter 69

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Bella rises from her seat, quickly making her way across the kitchen, holding her arms out for Tyler.

But, he won't budge.

"What's under your shirt?" I chance a look at Charlie who appears to be equally confused.

"Uh.. it's a ring, Baby, like an earring." Stunned, my brows lift as Tyler's big, brown eyes look up at me.

"You have an earring under your shirt?" He asks, and I look down at Bella.

When she shrugs, I nod.

"Can I see it?" He pulls at the neck of my tee, but Bella thankfully stops him.

"Not right now, the hot chocolate is ready." Huffing, he falls forward, letting her take him from my arms.

"Can I see after hot chocolate?"

* * *

Kids. *snorts* Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	70. Chapter 70

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

"Why would you want an earring in your shirt?" Clearing my throat, I take a seat, trying not to look over at Charlie.

"Uh.. I don't know. It was a silly thing to do, I guess." Nodding, he agrees.

"Did it hurt?" He eyes me, taking a sip from his bat signal mug, and I shake my head.

"Who's your favorite superhero?" I attempt a distraction.

"Batman. Did you do it yourself?" I chuckle, taking a sip myself.

This kid is good.

"No, a friend did it. Why do you like batman?" He takes another long sip.

He licks his lips, but misses a chocolaty spot.

"Because he's a real good guy. What's your friend's name?" My brow furrows.

"Rose. What do you mean a _real_ good guy?" I question, genuinely curious.

"He doesn't have any super powers. He's just good."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	71. Chapter 71

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

For the rest of the evening, I think about what Tyler had said.

The kid speaks beyond his years, possessing this untouched innocence.

An innocence so pure it seems nothing can corrupt it, nothing _will_ corrupt it.

But, I know better.

I've seen it.

I've lived it.

Growing up in a supportive, loving home, I _was_ it, until..

"Hey Mom, is Edward going to stay the night? He can sleep in my race car bed." The earring in my shirt forgotten, Tyler climbs up into my lap.

"No, Baby. Edward's going to sleep in his own bed." Leaning against me, he looks up as I look down.

"Do you have a race car bed?" A deep chuckle rumbles through my chest, and I catch myself nearly kissing the top of his head.

"No, just a regular, boring one." He looks back down, curling his feet up under his legs, cuddling further.

I look over at Bella, amazed, amused.

My smile falters when Charlie walks back into the room.

"Time for bed, Squirt. Edward's probably needing to get on home."

* * *

That Grandpa Charlie sure runs hot and cold. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	72. Chapter 72

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Tyler doesn't argue, and neither does Bella.

I let her take him from my lap, and twiddle my thumbs, waiting quietly, patiently for her to come back.

"So, what are your intentions? Are you here to stay?" Charlie interrogates, and I glance over at the bold, intimidating man, unable to read him.

He doesn't look back, only stares into the TV, still nursing his plain white mug.

"Uh.."

I honestly don't know what to say.

"You ready?" I hear Bella before she rounds the corner, and I stand.

"Uh, it was nice to meet you, Sir." He grunts, as I head for the door, and she follows me out.

* * *

**Awkwarrrrd.. Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	73. Chapter 73

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Bella shuts the door behind us, wrapping her arms around her middle.

She doesn't look at me.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pull you into this. I-" My fingers cover her lips.

They're moist, warm.

"It's okay. It was fine." She grabs my hand, pulling me from those moist, warm lips.

"But still, it must have been awkward." Her nails lightly scratch my open palm, and I nod, smiling.

"It was, but.." I stop, and she looks up, her brown eyes shining in the porch light.

"But.." She encourages quietly.

"I liked it. I had fun." A weight lifts, and she smiles that beautiful smile.

"Really?" Pulling her close, I wrap my arms around her small shoulders.

"Really."

* * *

D'awww, look at him all liking it.. ;) Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	74. Chapter 74

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I hold her, hold her so close, and she holds me just as tight.

The rain has stopped, but I can still smell it in her hair; fresh, clean goodness.

I just want to smell her all the time.

All the time, smell her, touch her, just be near her.

I don't want to leave.

I can't leave.

I can't move.

So, I don't.

I hold her.

I hold her until the porch light goes out.

"Not exactly subtle, is he?" I half joke, huffing a laugh.

She pulls away, giving me sympathetic smile.

"Yeah, I should probably get back in there."

I don't kiss her mouth like I want to; like I think she wants me to.

Instead, we make loose plans; agreeing to meet at The Parlor the following night, and she leaves me standing alone on the dark porch.

I stare at the door until my feet move; carrying me across the damp lawn, putting me in my old, shit brown Gran Torino, driving me back to the shop, leading me up the creaking stairs, and into that lonely hole in the wall.

I miss her.

* * *

Who wants another one? Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	75. Chapter 75

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I miss her all night.

I miss her all day.

I even miss her little mini me, Tyler.

The kid is cute, funny, and curious.

He keeps me on my toes; guessing, wondering what he's going to say, ask, do next.

It's refreshing, distracting.

It helps me forget, makes me feel happy.

"Your girlfriend's here." Emmett whispers from behind my ear, slapping me on the ass.

"K-i-s-s-i-n-g." Walking away, he sings proudly.

Ignoring him, I hold my breath, trying to slow my heart.

Swallowing, I try to keep it down.

But, watching her walk makes it difficult.

"Hey." She smiles that smile; the beautiful one.

My smile.

"Hey."

* * *

Another? Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	76. Chapter 76

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

We make idle chit chat.

_How are you?_

_Fine._

_You?_

_I'm fine._

We talk about the weather, but I don't care about the weather.

I care about her, what makes her tick, what she likes, how much she likes me.

I care how she feels about this, us; what she wants, needs.

And, I need to know because.. I want this, need it.

I wait until everyone leaves before taking her back.

She sits in my chair like she belongs there, and she does.

"The trace washed off in the rain. Is that okay?" I smile, remembering the rain, how good she looked standing in it.

"Yeah, I'll just redo it piece by piece. It'll take several sessions to finish the whole thing."

It's a lie, a pawn, a believable excuse to get her back in my chair.

She belongs here.

* * *

Maybe another, idk.. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	77. Chapter 77

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

"Tyler's been asking about you." I stop tracing.

Looking up, I find her brown eyes.

They're insecure, unsure.

They have no reason to be.

"Yeah?" She nods, and I continue.

"What's he asking?" I really want to know.

"He asks me when you're going to come over again. He still wants to see the earring in your shirt." I feel her giggle, and I stop tracing again, chuckling myself.

"I'm sure your dad appreciates that." She laughs harder.

"I don't think he likes me." She shakes her head, as the laughter fades.

"It's not that he doesn't like you. He's just.. He worries." I nod. Furrowing my brow, I get back to work.

"Because of Tyler's dad?" I ask, refusing to look back up.

I can't.

I don't want to know about this guy, but I need to.

"Yes."

* * *

If I don't pass out first, I might give you another one. No promises, but reviews help. ) Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	78. Chapter 78

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I want to ask if Tyler's father is still in their lives, if he still sees him, sees her.

But, I don't; unsure of how I'll feel if the answer is yes.

_Is it wrong that I hope it isn't?_

Finishing up the trace on the side of her finger, I prepare the gun, getting her ready for the needle.

She seems tense, so I place my hand on her knee, rubbing the side for comfort.

"Nervous?" She nods.

"About me, or the needle." Her breath quickens.

"Both." I smirk, surprised by her honesty.

"I make you nervous?" She nods again.

"How? How do I make you nervous?" She licks her lips, a deep stain setting in her already pink cheeks.

My hand cradles, sliding up her inner thigh.

"Tell me."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	79. Chapter 79

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I hold her gaze, and she spreads, wanting me to touch her.

I want to.

She would let me, it would be so easy.

I could have her, take her in this chair, and she would let me.

So easy.

"I.. I just feel it. Don't you?" I nod slowly.

"You feel good. I like your hands on me." She confesses, and my hand slides back down.

I rest my head on her bent knee.

"I missed them." She whispers, fingers tangling in my hair.

They feel good, too good.

"Missed what?" I mumble, heating the cool, blue denim of her jeans.

"Your hands."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	80. Chapter 80

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

My lips replace my hand.

I kiss her covered knee.

"I missed _you, _all of you." I tell her, meaning it.

I missed her.

"I missed the rest too." She hums a soft giggle.

Sitting up straight, I grab her arm, placing it back on my leg.

We need to get started, or this will never get finished.

"You ready?" She sighs.

"I'm ready."

She jumps with the buzzing sound of the iron, and I chuckle, holding her steady.

At first contact, she hisses, but keeps still.

I try to focus, distracted by the rise and fall of her chest, stopping often to check how she's doing.

Finished for the night, we end at the side of her knuckle.

I cover the swollen, red skin with ointment, reinforcing my previous directions, and help her out of the chair.

We make plans to meet again, same time, and I walk her to her car where I pull her close, holding her tight.

"Is Tyler's father still around? Does he still come around?" She tries to pull away, look at me, but I don't let her.

She's quiet, but then I feel her shake her head.

"He hasn't."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	81. Chapter 81

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

******This one's for FranRichards. She's been begging for it. ; )**

* * *

_******E**_

I leave it at that.

He hasn't, and hopefully he won't.

I kiss her forehead, her cheek, but she turns, kissing my mouth.

A deep shock resonates in my gut, climbing up and out of my throat.

I moan, opening, taking her bottom lip in between mine.

Licking soft, and warm; finding her tongue, I taste.

She's good, and right, and spearmint sweet.

So, so sweet.

Pressing her against the car, I get lost; lost in her lips, her tongue, the resonant clash of solid teeth.

I follow her as she pulls away, breathing in her ragged breath, taking all I can get.

I'd pick her mouth over air any day.

"To-morrow?" Her voice staggers, fighting the heave of her chest.

"Tomorrow."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	82. Chapter 82

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I watch her drive off.

I don't know; thinking, feeling that as long as I can see her, she's real, she's here.

But, I know me watching has nothing to do with it.

She _is_ real

She _is_ here.

I can feel her.

All the time, I feel her; in my head, my chest, my stomach.

Skin.

Muscles.

Bones.

She's in me, around me.

I can smell the citrus in her hair.

Feel the softness of her skin.

Taste the goodness of her mouth.

I walk the creaking stairs, holding onto the broken, brick wall; dizzy on the memory, the lingering sensations.

Barely making it through the door, I unbuckle my increasingly constricting jeans, picking up the unwashed towel; the one that touched her, every last naked inch of her.

I sit in the middle of the busted, leather couch; stroke one out for the fourth time this week, thinking of her; her small cool hands, her hot warm mouth.

The coil comes quick; release is sweet, pouring out of me, onto the fluffy, blue cotton.

And with labored breath, my heart beats heavy.

Relieved, yet unsatisfied, all I'm left with is another dirty, stained towel.

* * *

Maybe he should've done it in the shower like all the other ff Edward's.. ;) Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	83. Chapter 83

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

The next day drags, like all the others.

Since I've met her, every moment she's not around drags.

I wonder if it's the same for her.

_Does she feel it like I do?_

I'm clearing my station when I hear the tinkling chime of the bell, thankful she's late, and everyone has left for the day.

Before I even finish cleaning, I'm up, and across the floor.

"I'm sorry I'm la-" I cut her off with my eager mouth.

It's losing her taste, and needs it back.

She opens, moaning. I swallow it.

We're all lips, and tongues, and teeth, and hands; fondling, fighting for dominance, searching for more.

We can't get enough.

Never enough.

She pulls away first.

She always will.

Always.

"Hey." She smiles, limp, braced inside my wrapped arms.

"Hey."

* * *

D'awww these two.. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	84. Chapter 84

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

"Will you be greeting me like that all the time now?" She asks, raising her brow.

"If you want." I kiss her mouth.

It's soft, quick, closed.

"I want." I kiss her again.

I lead her back, wanting to get started, wanting to spend some time with her, kiss her some more.

If she'll let me.

I prep the area, tracing quickly, warning her repeatedly not to move.

She jumps again with the buzzing of the iron.

I chuckle, kissing the end of her freshly tatted finger.

I'm caught up in my thoughts, my concerns, trying my best to concentrate.

I drop of sweat drips from my forehead, and I stop.

"Are we done for tonight?" I nod, wiping the sweat from my brow, picking up my mess.

When I feel her grab my wrist, I stop.

"What's wrong?" I meet her concerned, brown eyes.

They plead; wanting, needing me to tell her.

"I have to tell you something."

* * *

*bites nails* Who else wants to know what he has to tell her? Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	85. Chapter 85

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

"Okay, what is it?"

I set down my machine, letting her take my hand.

She squeezes lightly, encouraging.

"I'll understand if you don't want to see me, or want me to be around Tyler."

"Edward, please." She squeezes tighter.

"I mean it, Bella. You're not going to like what you hear." She scoffs, raising her voice.

"Just tell me!"

Dropping her hand, I stand, I pace, pulling on the ends of my hair.

"I'm.. I'm a.. I'm a recovering addict." She doesn't say anything, and she doesn't walk out, so I continue.

"I haven't used in six years, but every day's a struggle. Just being around you is a struggle. Containing myself is next to impossible. I just.. I just.." I feel her arms wrap around my middle, her head resting against my strained back.

"You just, what?" Her open hands rub my tight chest.

"I don't want to mess this up." I feel the heat of her mouth through my shirt, kissing my shoulder blade.

"What can I do? How can I make it easier?" Relaxing, I sigh, finally breathing.

"Would you be willing to go to a meeting with me?"

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	86. Chapter 86

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I'm outside the shop, waiting, puffing on my third cigarette within an hour.

My stomach rolls.

Taking in one last, long draw, I throw it down, stomping it out as Bella pulls up.

I wonder if the smoke bothers her.

She's never said anything, but I've also never lit up in front of her.

I think maybe I should quit, but that causes an uncomfortable tightness in my chest.

I'll have to ask.

She looks beautiful in her black tights, and cream colored sweater; the neck hanging off one shoulder.

"You look good." I kiss her mouth, panicking, realizing I was just smoking, and not knowing if she minds.

Easing my worries, she parts my dry lips with her hot tongue, moaning.

_She wouldn't moan if she didn't like it._

_Would she?_

"You taste good." She mumbles against me, and give her a quick peck, pulling away, taking her hand.

"You ready to go?" Smiling, she squeezes.

"Ready."

* * *

Who's ready for more?! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	87. Chapter 87

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

We walk the dimming street, hand in hand; her thumb stroking the side of mine.

She knows.

She always knows.

Coming to a stop at a red light, she tips her chin, resting it against my shoulder.

"I'm really glad you asked me to come." Looking down, my heart beats. It cries to kiss her, take her; to not stop; never stop.

It's unbearable, this pain; this dull ache, it hurts.

Unbearable.

"I'm glad you came." Ignoring it, I kiss her forehead, and the light turns green.

We're silent the rest of the way, loosely clasping comforting hands.

As we reach the fifth avenue Presbyterian Church entrance, my fingers tingle for composing nicotine.

"Do you mind if I smoke?" She smiles, lifting my hand, kissing the back.

"No, I don't mind."

* * *

More? Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	88. Chapter 88

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

She stands close by, sneaking peeks, watching me suck on the end of the stick.

Turning my head away, I cough, chuckling.

"Is it weird that I like to watch you smoke?" Smirking, I shrug, kissing her crinkled nose.

"I don't know. Is it weird that I like that you like watching me smoke?" She giggles, and I take my last drag.

I grind it out on the steps, tossing it towards the street, and she grabs my chin.

Lips covering lips, she forces me to blow into her open mouth; kissing deep, cloaked by a cloud of sexy smoke, and I've never been so turned on.

I grab her by the middle, pulling her onto my lap, and she slows, nibbling, catching my eye.

"Relax."

And, I do.

* * *

Whoo, these two. ; ) Anybody else want to sit in on Edward's group session? Just let me know. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	89. Chapter 89

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I relax enough to stand, taking her hand.

It's the only way to get through it; holding her hand.

Pushing passed the heavy, wood door; I swiftly pull her behind me, hoping she's not looking around.

But, I know she is.

I know she's looking at the large, stained glass window; the one that embodies Mary, Jesus, and all his disciples.

I know she sees her; that little, old lady.

The one dressed in all black.

Black scarf.

Black dress.

Black stockings.

Black shoes.

She prays for me, for all of us, our passed, and present sins.

It's in her eyes.

Pity.

We make it to the back room, the one with the cold, uncomfortable folding chairs; the one that sometimes has a half eaten box of stale donuts, and day old coffee.

I breathe a little easier.

"Glad you could make it, Edward. We were just getting started."

* * *

Ok, ok.. NOW, who wants to sit on Edward, I mean in.. sit IN on Edward's meeting. ;) lol Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	90. Chapter 90

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

My mouth opens and closes multiple times.

Wanting to talk, wanting to tell my story, knowing that my time is running out.

The night is coming to a close.

"We have time for one more. Would anyone like to share?"

Palms sweating, I release Bella's hand for the first time since we got here, standing on weak knees.

"Uh.. My names Edward, and I'm a recovering addict, six years clean. I.. I, uh.." Shaking, I feel her; her hand.

She places it back in mine.

I squeeze it.

"I started using when I was seventeen; weed, and alcohol at first, then when they weren't enough, I would take one of my mom's Xanax." I stop, rubbing the nape of my neck, feeling her thumb nail scratch my palm.

Always encouraging, supportive, accepting.

Always; of everything.

"When she started noticing, I had to stop, had to find some other way to get what I needed. So, I started going to these parties, hanging out with people who had connections, made some of my own. Problem was pills were expensive, a lot more expensive than Heroin." I look down briefly, finding no judgment, just beautiful, brown eyes.

"I thought I had it under control for the longest time, delusional, in denial. I'd wake up, not know where I was, where I'd been… who I'd been with." She tightens her grip, and I close my eyes; hating to have to tell these things, hating that I'd done them, hating myself even if she doesn't.

"I hit rock bottom six years ago, after several failed attempts in rehab. I let down a lot of people, could've ruined a lot of lives, probably did for all I know." Taking a deep breath, I let it out.

"Everyday's a struggle, and no matter how hard I fight, it never ends, it never will. I just keep taking it, one day at a time."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	91. Chapter 91

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Everyone thanks me for sharing, and the meeting ends.

I don't even sit back down.

I hold on to Bella's hand, waiting for her to stand, and she does.

We're silent as I briskly lead her back through the nave of the church, out the heavy wooden door, and into the dark street.

I light one up without asking.

"I'm proud of you." I scoff, and she takes my hand again, intertwining our cold fingers.

"Don't be that way, not with me." She scolds, and I want to kiss the crease out of her brow. So, I kiss the crease out of her brow.

"Sorry."

* * *

Who wants to follow them the rest of the night? Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	92. Chapter 92

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

She accepts my lame apology with a kiss; quick and close mouthed, but I like it, I'll take it.

I'll take her lips any way I can get them.

"You hungry?" I poke her growling stomach, and she shies away, snorting softly.

It's impossibly adorable.

_She's _impossibly adorable.

Pulling her back, I drop the half smoked cigarette, wrapping my arms around her middle, holding her close.

Nodding, she smiles bashfully, chewing the dry skin off her bottom lip.

"Stop that."

Her teeth release it, and I run my thumb over the broken, bleeding flesh.

"I can afford to buy you dinner."

* * *

Yay, a real date! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	93. Chapter 93

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I take her to my favorite place.

Just some mom-and-pop shop no one ever notices; quiet, good food.

We eat and laugh, laugh and eat, asking questions, getting to know one another.

My heart grows, filling with her; her likes, her dislikes, how she spends her time.

I love that she's in school, getting her college degree.

She wants to be a writer, _is_ a writer.

She promises to let me see, read what she's written, what no one else has seen.

My heart swells.

Her trust baffles.

I pay, and we're out into the misty, cold night, huddling close, absorbing the others warmth.

"I was tested multiple times after my last stint in rehab, and I haven't been with anyone since. I'm clean." I blurt, not knowing why I say it.

"Good to know." She smiles, trying not to laugh.

"So am I."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	94. Chapter 94

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

"So.." I click my tongue.

"So.." She repeats, resting her chin against my shoulder.

"You haven't been with anyone since Tyler's dad?" She shakes her head.

"Since before he was born?" She nods, and a weight lifts, only to settle back into my chest.

"So, he's never met him?" Her beautiful, brown eyes fill with pain.

She doesn't say anything.

She doesn't have to.

"His loss." I kiss her nose, her lips, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

Her hand firmly planted in my back pocket, we walk in step the rest of the way back to the shop.

Standing outside the glass door, I don't want her to leave.

"So, you wanna come up?"

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	95. Chapter 95

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

"I always wanna come up."

How she puts things, the way she talks to me, it drives me crazy; crazy in the best, most amazing, heart skipping, stomach rolling, smile forming kind of way.

She makes me feel more, like I am more, more than a yes, more than a no; just more, so much more.

"Then come up.. always."

Fingers intertwined, we're silent; the only sounds coming from our shoe covered steps, and the creaking of tired stairs.

A cold sweat falls over me, but then I remember; I did do laundry.

"Do you want something to drink? I have water, or uh.. water." I huff a laugh, scratching an imaginary itch on my brow.

She shrugs.

"Water's fine."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	96. Chapter 96

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I'm standing at the kitchen sink, filling a glass half full, when I feel her arms surround me.

"I'm not thirsty anymore."

Her chin digs into the center of my back.

I shiver.

It feels nice.

She feels nice.

I imagine what it would be like to wake up next to her, make breakfast, lunch, and dinner together, always have her here.

Nice.

"Good thing this one's for me then." I feel her giggle; the slight bounce of her full chest.

The glass slips when I feel her small, cool hands slide under the hem of my shirt; running up, and over my skin.

"You feel so good. You make me feel so good." The hot, hot heat from her mouth chills, making me sweat.

"Yeah?" My breath is heavy, voice deep; grunting as she flicks both rings, pressing from behind, pushing me into the cupboard door.

"Yeah."

* * *

*squeals* Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	97. Chapter 97

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

_**E**_

She backs away, taking my shaky hand, pulling me with her.

Looking back her smile is soft; shy, but sure.

Leading me out into the living room, standing me in front of the busted, old leather couch, I get an odd feeling that she knows.

She knows I've sat on this couch, touching myself, thinking about her.

She knows.

Small hands silently lift my shirt; I raise my arms, bending so she can get it off on her own.

Lips eager, the hot of her mouth against the cool metal in my nipple shocks me.

"Fuck." I breathe out, watching the steady, wet stroke of her soft, pink tongue, thinking maybe, just maybe I can come like this.

But then I feel her cool, little hands at the buckle of my jeans, and I know even if I can, I won't have to.

* * *

Oh shit, you guys... ;) Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	98. Chapter 98

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

******Sorry, accidentally posted the wrong chap.. my bad. This is the right one.**

* * *

_******E**_

Mouth still on me, she pops the button, slowly undoing the zipper; sending heavy vibrations through my painfully, hardened cock.

Her hands feel so small, so good, sliding in the back of my underwear, pulling them down.

She lowers them to my knees, pushing against my chest, and I sit in the center of the delicate, cold leather; naked, completely exposed.

Bare not just in body, but heart, mind, and soul.

Hers.

All hers.

She drops to her knees, removing my shoes, socks, pulling rough, blue denim over my feet.

Shedding her sweater, she's beautiful, breathtaking, braless, spreading my legs, settling between them.

"You don't have to do this."

* * *

Ughhhh, men! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	99. Chapter 99

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

**********Okay, I posted the wrong chapter, last chapter but, it should be fixed now. If you didn't read it, go read that first. Sorry about that!**

* * *

_******E**_

Leaning forward, the sides of her warm breasts skim the insides of my thighs.

Her dark, brown eyes rise.

"I want to."

My dick twitches, enticed by her teasing breath.

"More than anything."

She licks her lips, lowering her pretty pink tongue.

My muscles tighten as she runs it over the leaking head of my cock.

It's hot, wet, so, so fucking hot, and wet as her mouth covers me, coats me, taking me all the way in.

"Fuck, Bella."

She hums.

"Oh, fuck."

Legs falling open, head lulling back, I run my hands along her neck, feeling her swallow around me.

"Oh, fuck."

Eyes fluttering, I hold her hair, trying to watch as she bobs, and sucks, coaxing me with lips, tongue, the slippery slope of her warm saliva.

I want to come.

I'm going to come.

The cold tingle starts in my toes, warming my thighs, tightening the underside of my aching balls, it's been too long.

I'm coming.

"Bella.. Bella, fuck!" I try to pull away, but she holds me in place; cool hands gripping my thighs, swallowing me whole as I come, grunting, shooting thick, pulsating spurts down her eager, open throat.

I try to keep my closing eyes open, while she licks, and kisses, loving me while cleaning me off.

I want to make her feel as good as I did, do.

I want to make her come.

I want to see her feel it.

"Come here."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	100. Chapter 100

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

She climbs up onto the couch, straddling my bare legs.

"You're amazing." I wrap my arms around her naked middle, pulling her close, wishing the rest of her was just as naked.

"You feel amazing." I lick a firm nipple.

She moans.

"Taste amazing."

I lick the other, and she groans; deep, and long, rubbing against me, my groin.

It's sensitive even against the soft knit of her tights, but I don't care.

I buck up into her.

"Edward!" She gasps.

A deep chuckle rumbles in my chest.

"Yeah?" Leaning forward, I palm her ass, pulling her down, tonguing the hardened peaks of her pert breasts; moving, circling, thrusting my hips.

Her nails dig, nearly piercing the scaled skin of my shoulders.

I want her to break the skin, make me bleed.

_Do it._

Breathing ragged, her chest heaves against me, my mouth.

Warm wetness pools between her legs, seeping through, and I'm hard again; aching, throbbing, wet from her, for her.

I want more than anything to rip these tights off of her, lay her down, spread, fill, come inside of her.

More than anything.

"Uhng! Oh, fuck!"

She's coming.

I can feel it.

Hear it.

See it.

The sweaty crease in her brow.

The deepening, ruby red on her cheeks.

The soft, circular gape of her mouth.

It's beautiful.

She's beautiful.

"Beautiful."

Just beautiful.

* * *

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


	101. Chapter 101

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Winded, and weak, I kiss her, tasting myself all over her tongue.

I've had her mouth, now I want _her_.

I want her so badly.

"Do you have any condoms?" She pants, ready to go.

Already.

Rubbing against me, my cock.

It's hard; hard for her.

Already.

Only her.

Only her.

My Bella.

My beautiful, sweet, loving, wiggling, horny, little Bella.

Mine.

"No." Gripping her hips, stilling her, I whine; throbbing, frustrated.

"I want you." She whispers, biting me, the small, gauged plug in my earlobe.

I agree with a deep groan, and she stops, climbing off of my lap; the center of her black tights a darkened, wet mess.

She looks so good standing there, half naked, long, brown hair covering her breasts.

"Maybe I should go."

* * *

Okay, I'm going to tell you a couple of my go to panty destroyers, and in return I want you to review and tell me yours. ;) Menage A Trois by Siobhan Masen, Apologies by Mrstrentreznor - be warned it's Bella/Paul, but worth it, holy christ is it worth it. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	102. Chapter 102

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

"No!" Sitting up, I yell.

Not wanting her to go

Never wanting her to go.

Never.

"Don't go." Standing, I'm open, vulnerable, naked; physically, emotionally.

Reaching, I'm bare.

Bare in intention, need, desperation, and skin.

Completely bare.

"Stay. I'll get dressed. I can control myself, just stay." Looking me over, she seems amused, satisfied.

She smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes; her beautiful, worrisome, brown eyes.

"I can't stay. If I stay _I_ won't be able to control _myself_." She picks up her cream colored sweater, and I yank it out of her hands, throwing it over my shoulder.

"Then don't."

* * *

O_o Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	103. Chapter 103

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

We stare, quiet, considering.

I can hear it, her breathing; see the steady lift of her naked chest with every heavy breath.

She covers herself.

Her beautiful body, she covers it, hiding behind those long strands of auburn hair.

It shines, even in the dull, table lamp light.

"The last time I didn't control myself, I ended up pregnant, and alone."

My heart stalls, stuck with her mumbled words; knowing she's right.

She has every right to think that; has every right to think so little of me.

But, it still pisses me off.

Bending I pick up my splayed jeans, shoving them on one leg at a time, zipping, buckling them roughly.

The harsh movements do little to calm me, my unwarranted anger.

"That's hardly fair, Bella. I'm nothing like him. I would never leave you. No matter what, I would never leave you. I would have never left Tyler."

I shake, standing on nothing more than broken ground, and wounded ego.

"But.."

She stops, raising her gaze, dropping it.

Brushing past me, she reaches out for the sweater, but I grab her arm, stopping her.

"But, what?"

She shakes her shiny head of hair, and even in my anger I still want to run my hands through it.

I still want to kiss her.

"Nothing."

She pulls away, but I hold her close; wrapping my arms around her soft, naked middle, I don't let her.

"It's not nothing, Bella. Don't do this, not to me." Kissing her citrus scented temple, I use her own words against her, and she crumbles.

"But, what?" I ask again, and she shakes her precious, shining head, crying into my thumping chest.

"But.. you did."

* * *

Who gasped? I know some of you saw it coming. ;) Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	104. Chapter 104

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

My heart stops, and I panic, not sure if it will start, can start up again.

The building spit in my mouth, pooling, choking, I can't swallow.

I can't swallow.

I.

Can't.

Swallow.

I know what this is.

This is a panic attack.

I've had them before.

Before I'd drink some alcohol, smoke some weed, pop a pill, tie off, and shoot up.

But, I think.. I think this time I might actually be dying.

Lungs straining, heart speeding.

I'm dying.

I know I'm dying.

But, then I swallow.

I breathe.

I swallow again.

And again, and again, and again.

Tunnel vision fading, I realize I'm holding on to Bella just as tight as she's holding on to me.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to tell you, didn't want to tell you this way."

She's shaking, or is it me, both of us?

I don't know.

"What are you saying, Bella?"

I'm not stupid.

I know what she's saying.

I know.

I want to hear her say it.

I need to hear her say it.

Need to.

_Say it._

"You're Tyler's father."

* * *

LOL, love you guys! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	105. Chapter 105

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

My beating heart sounds in my ears, drowning, deafening.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

I'm still holding on to her.

She's still holding on to me, holding me up.

So tight, I can't breathe, but I don't care.

I need it.

More than air, I need her.

"How old is he, Bella?"

I ask, knowing; knowing no matter what she says it isn't going to change anything.

It's not going to make it any better.

It's not going to fix anything, nothing will.

I defiled her.

This young girl, this innocent, young girl; I took what I wanted, and left her; left her to deal with the consequences.

I didn't even know.

I didn't even know.

"Just turned six."

She mumbles into my wet chest, covered in her slowing tears.

"That means you.. you were.. oh, God."

Hearing it makes it worse.

I swallow again, this time bile.

"Fifteen?.. Yeah."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	106. Chapter 106

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

"How.. Wha-.. Tell me.. please."

She sighs.

"Can we sit?"

I nod, sitting, pulling her down with me, on top of me.

Her giggle is soothing, as she leans against me.

The creamy skin of her back resting against the green scales on my chest, she props her bare feet up on the coffee table.

I cuddle her, trying to calm, watching the wiggle of her tiny, little toes.

The nails are painted blue; my favorite color.

I kiss her naked shoulder.

"I was at a party, one of many, and I saw you. I had seen you before, around; your hair, your eyes, your smile."

She plays with my fingers, running hers up and down, in between.

It feels nice.

"But this time was different. This time, you saw me too."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	107. Chapter 107

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

******Edward is 29. Bella is 21. So, when they met she would've been 15, he would've been 23, and a bit of a perv.. j/s**

* * *

_******E**_

"You came up, and you actually talked to me; told me I was pretty; said you liked my brown eyes, how they sparkled in the moonlight, which I thought was funny cause we were inside."

She hums, and I hang my head, squeezing my eyes shut.

Such an asshole.

I was such an asshole.

"You stayed with me all night, getting me drinks, we danced. I had never danced with a guy before, haven't since."

Looking back up, I watch her profile, the rounded, rosy apple of her cheek, the slight, upward pull at the corner of her mouth.

Only good things; she remembers only good things.

I hope.

I hope beyond hope.

"Other girls came on to you all night, but you would pull me close, kiss my lips, tell them you were mine."

She turns her head, looking at my lips, my eyes, my lips; she licks hers.

"I believed you."

Leaning in, she softly kisses my closed mouth.

"Still do."

* * *

What woman, let alone an impressionable fifteen year old girl wouldn't.. Right? Am I right? Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	108. Chapter 108

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Her deep, brown eyes hold mine, never letting me go.

She never let me go.

"Bella, I.. I don't remember. I was so messed up, I don't remember anything."

Her smile is soft, understanding; her voice low, and timid.

"I know."

I drop my gaze, pinching an ache in the bridge of my nose.

"I'm sorry."

She stops me, grabbing my hand, bringing it to her lips.

"I know."

It's too much; her easy acceptance is too much.

Unacceptable.

What I did, the things I said; unacceptable.

"Were you.. Had you.. You know." I stutter, stumbling over my words, not knowing why it's even important.

I just know that it is.

My heart falls further and further with every shake of her head, the hurt I know fills her eyes.

"You were my first, Edward; my only."

* * *

More? Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	109. Chapter 109

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

"Shit, Bella, I-" She cuts me off; cuts me off with her lips, hard, and sure; turning in my lap, straddling me.

"Don't."

Grabbing my jaw, she forces me to look up.

"I liked it, Edward, every second." Briefly closing her eyes, remembering, she smiles.

"You made me come with this." She swipes her thumb along my bottom lip.

Lifting my hand, she kisses my fingers. "With these."

I barely contain myself, my reaction to her words, letting loose a low groan.

"You were gentle."

Her hands caress, stroking my jaw, my neck, showing me.

"I missed you, your mouth, your hands, this jaw."

Tears flood, fall, streaking the pink of her cheeks, turning them a deep red.

They're warm, dropping onto me, my stomach.

"I had to see you." She sniffs, wiping the cooling tears from the exposed skin.

"I had to feel them again. I had to."

* * *

MORE? Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	110. Chapter 110

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

******You're a bunch of greedy h00rs, and I love it!**

* * *

_******E**_

I'm quiet while she settles, drying her eyes; silently helping her, wiping her stained cheeks.

"I heard you were in the hospital, overdosed." She sniffs, blinking out a new round of fat tears, undoing what we'd just done.

"You almost died."

I nod, nearly letting it slip that I _did_ die, if only for two minutes.

"I wanted to come see you, I tried, but you weren't awake, and I wasn't family, so.." She stops, sniffing, shrugging her small shoulders.

My heart breaks, aching for her, the situation I put her in, the sickening fact that she came to me, came to see me, to check on me, and I had no clue; no clue that she even existed.

Sickening.

"I was going to find you, tell you, but when my dad found out he-" I cut her off, sitting up straight, nearly knocking her to the floor.

"He knows? Your dad knows it's me?"

* * *

Dun dun duuuuun! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	111. Chapter 111

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

******You guys are too good to me! So, here's another one!**

* * *

_******E**_

She places her hands against my pounding chest, pushing, and I fall back, taking her with me.

"He knows."

I whine, pout; now understanding our strange, straight to the point, one sided conversation.

_Did he think I knew?_

"He's known ever since before Tyler was born."

Unable to stay still, I stand, holding her straddled against me, sitting her on the couch.

I pace, back and forth, back and forth; pulling on the ends of my hair.

Nothing helps.

"Fuck, Bella, he must _hate _me. Does he think I know?" She shakes her head.

"Not anymore. I told him I haven't told you yet."

"Fuck." I bend, trying to breathe.

"When he first found out, he urged me not to tell you, said you needed to straighten up, fix yourself first." I stand up straight, hands on my hips, listening, waiting.

"But, it was never the right time, not according to him." She gets up from her place on the couch, walking toward me, wrapping her arms around my queasy stomach.

"Then I saw you, standing right outside smoking a cigarette, and that was it, I just knew. I knew he couldn't stop me, wouldn't, and he didn't."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	112. Chapter 112

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

She runs her hands up my strained back, coaxing me calm with a light scratch of her nails.

I loosen.

"At least, he didn't kill you on sight; that's promising." Her silent laughter shakes her shoulders, rubbing her bare skin against mine.

It's nice.

I like it.

I wonder if we'll always have these conversations half naked, fully naked, in bed after; I'd like to.

"He's had six years to get used to it, Edward. He knows how important this is to me, to Tyler. He understands."

She leaves small kisses, her breath hot on my chest, my shoulders.

"You're taking this too easy on me."

My hands tangle in her silky hair, not guiding, only encouraging her mouth.

"It's easy to take it easy. You make it that way."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	113. Chapter 113

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

We touch and kiss, kiss and touch, finding our way back to the busted, leather couch.

I lay her down, nestling between her spread legs, pressing, making her moan.

I watch.

I watch her as she starts to move, rubbing firmly against me, the rough seam of my jeans.

Eyebrows pinched, her soft mouth opens, displaying the pink moisture of her tongue.

The blazing red of her cheeks darkens, creeps, covering her neck; it's stretched, calling to me.

A sweet sign of trust, submission.

She's so beautiful, so beautiful it hurts, causes physical pain right in the center of my chest.

I can't stop looking at her.

Splayed brown hair spans, haloing her head.

She's an angel; a panting, writhing angel, fallen from heaven; a gift from an all knowing, forgiving God.

If he exists, she's his gift.

I almost tell her I love her, it's so close, right on the tip of my tongue, but I bite it back.

I swallow it.

It goes down with a fight.

* * *

Thank you reading and reviewing!


	114. Chapter 114

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

She squirms, kissing me, groaning into my mouth as she comes.

I want her to come again, and again, and again, and again.

I could watch her come all night, every night.

Lifting her boneless body, I dress her, pulling the soft sweater over her tired, lulling head.

I offer to drive her home, and when she refuses, I insist.

I want to see him, need to see him.

She doesn't fight me when I tell her I want to see our son.

She smiles, touching her flushed cheeks, touching my shirt covered chest, my lips.

She kisses them, and her tears stream, coating the taste on our tongues.

Salty-sweet.

I hold her hand while we slowly, silently take the creaking stairs, walking across the shop floor on unsteady legs.

I open her door, kissing her mouth before I help her in, and jog around to the driver's side door.

My heart is quivering, leaving me weak, and shaky.

_What if he doesn't want to call me Dad?_

_What if he does?_

_Does she even want to tell him?_

_Has she?_

Climbing in, I start it up, letting the old heater warm.

"So, does Tyler know?" I ask, feeling the car shake.

"No."

I nod.

"Do you want him to know?"

Another shake.

"Yes."

Another nod.

"When?"

I put the car in drive, pulling out, feeling her hand cover mine over the shift.

"Whenever you're ready."

* * *

Anybody else miss Tyler? Charlie? Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	115. Chapter 115

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

When we reach the house, we sit.

She waits, just like she said.

_Whenever I'm ready._

"Has he asked about me? I mean, his father? What have you told him?"

I'm nervous, sweating, shaking.

My fingers, my toes feel frozen, numb.

"Uh yeah, he's asked." I pull my gaze from the glowing light in the living room window, looking at her, silently asking her to tell me what she told him.

"I told him that sometimes kids have dads who can't be there, but you loved him very much, and he seemed okay with that, still does."

I nod, looking back toward the house, taking a deep breath in, letting it out.

"Okay, I think I'm ready."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	116. Chapter 116

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Bella's up and out of the car before I even open the door.

She's standing in the wet grass, clasping her hands, staring down at her wiggling fingers.

She's nervous, possibly just as nervous as me.

I feel like an ass for not noticing, for not offering _her_ some comfort, for making her do all the calming, comforting.

Maybe, just maybe she needs it to.

Sucking it up, I swallow it down, just like my love for her, my confession of it.

I can do this.

For her.

For Tyler.

Myself.

I can do it.

Climbing out of the car, I hold out my hand, and she takes it.

Running my thumb along the side of her finger, I offer what I can as we approach the door.

I kiss her right before she opens it.

* * *

I keep writing these chaps so I can post some tomorrow, but I can't wait! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	117. Chapter 117

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I can hear his laughter, the high pitched squeal of his excitement as we walk through the open door.

"Edward!"

He runs over, his sock covered feet shuffling loudly across the thick, cream-colored carpet; nearly knocking me over when he crashes into me, wrapping a leg around my leg, giving me a full bodied hug.

My heart grows ten-fold, trying to tear out of my chest.

It hurts so bad I think it might.

The unfamiliar ache in my neck rises, burning the underside of my clenched jaw, and my eye sight blurs, trying to relieve it.

But just like everything else, I swallow it down.

This little boy doesn't need my tears.

He needs _me_.

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	118. Chapter 118

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Crouching to his level, I look into his chocolate brown eyes, looking, just looking for pieces of me.

I find them in his brow, the arch of his nose, the crooked sneak in his smirk.

He has my bottom lip, but chews on it like his mother.

It's cracked, red, and swollen.

"Did you come to sleep in my race car bed?" He asks, and I laugh, making him giggle timidly.

I tousle his hair, refraining from grabbing him, hugging him close, kissing his sweet head.

"No, but I did come to see you. How bout I tuck you in?" I look up at Bella and she nods, giving me the okay, and I stand; taking his hand, walking past his reclining grandfather.

"Charlie." I nod curtly, and he salutes.

"Good guy."

* * *

Had to squeeze Charlie in there ;) Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	119. Chapter 119

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I smile at Charlie's endearment, remembering the first night I came here.

I'm just as, if not more nervous.

Feeling myself shake in this little boy's steady hand has me worried, on edge, second guessing.

_Does he feel it?_

_Can he tell?_

If so, he doesn't let on.

And, I'm sure he'd ask.

Grabbing a book off the bedside table, he drops my hand, climbing into the race car bed, and I take a look around while he settles.

Plain blue walls lead down to the same cream-colored carpet, only this one is covered.

Little plastic crime fighters dominate, cluttering the width.

The bad guys are piled, all huddling cowardly in the corner.

All, except for one.

His green scales catch my eye, peeking out from under the black, bat sign pillowcase.

I pull him out, but Tyler grabs him out of my hand.

"He sleeps here, with me."

* * *

Gotta work all day.. boo. :( Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	120. Chapter 120

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

"You can sleep with me too, come on."

He motions for me to climb into his bed, and with a heavy heart, I do.

"But, first you have to read to me."

My brow rises with his demands, but I comply, taking the book from his tiny hands, lying down beside him.

I tense, muscles tighten as he scoots closer, cuddling into the crook of my arm.

Swallowing thickly, I wonder if he can feel the padded punch of my heart against his cheek.

This only makes it pound harder.

"Have you read it?"

He startles me, hushed by the steady swoosh of blood sounding in my ears.

His eyes are wide, most likely matching mine, and I quickly look away, reading the cover.

'_Melvin Beederman, Superhero'_

I smile, slightly relaxing, huffing a laugh.

"No."

I look back down, and he looks away, snuggling further.

"It's a good one. They beat the bologna."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	121. Chapter 121

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

His giggles fade, drifting off into soft snores, all before the McNasty brother's are defeated, their evil plans foiled.

Finishing the book for myself, I quietly close it, setting it aside.

I watch him sleep.

His familiar brow relaxed, his eyes move, darting behind closed lids, fluttering the long, silky brown length of his lashes.

I wonder what he's dreaming about, what he usually dreams about.

_Does he have nightmares like I did?_

Craning my neck, I nuzzle my nose in his hair, breathing deep, smelling him.

Stored sunshine, and a day's worth of well-earned sweat.

I would bottle it if I could.

But, what gets me is his mouth.

Pouted, and parted, I imagine Bella sleeps just the same, and it makes me yearn.

Kissing the top of his head, I yearn for years lost, never to be returned.

I'll never see his first steps, never hear his first words, never wake up in the middle of the night to change him, feed him, kiss his mother, and send her back to bed.

_Bella._

My heart burns.

_Fifteen_.

My chest tightens.

I let out a held, staggered breath.

She was _only_ fifteen, and I was _only_ strung out.

Stupid.

She never should have been there.

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	122. Chapter 122

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

The quiet click of the door brings me back.

"Hey."

I force a smile.

"Hey."

Bella slinks across the floor, sits on the side of the bed frame, staring down, looking us over.

"You can wiggle out from under him. He won't wake up."

I nod, giving him one last look, one last goodnight kiss, not sure if I want to wiggle out from under him.

But, I do.

I scoot down the length of the mattress, grabbing onto the hood of the car, lifting myself off the slanted end, baffled by the mechanics it takes just to get out of here.

I'm too old for this shit.

With my feet solidly on the ground, I look up to find Bella standing in front of me, her dark, brown eyes glistening with tears unshed.

She blinks and they fall, rolling down her swelling, pink cheeks, and I wipe them, kiss them away.

Away, away.

They make me hurt.

Everywhere.

"I'm sorry."

* * *

Guess what, I don't have to work today! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	123. Chapter 123

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

_I'm sorry._

It's loaded.

I'm sorry for this, for causing these tears.

I'm sorry I reeled her in, ruined her life, and left her, for not knowing I did, for not having one, single clue.

I'm sorry for every moment, every memory I didn't help make, and can't share with her.

_I'm _sorry.

A sorry excuse.

"I should probably go."

She stiffens, tightening her grip on my arm.

Her eyes search, begging.

She silently pleads, but to what end?

I can't stay.

She can't see what's rising, what's boiling, bubbling up, about to spill over.

She can't.

I won't let her.

Kissing her mouth, I ignore the stretched ache settling deep behind my teeth.

Taking her hand, I lead her through the house, thankful Charlie's nowhere in sight, and soon we're outside.

The misty, cool wind feels good on my hot skin, but stings my welling eyes.

"Will I see you tomorrow?"

She asks, sneaking her arms around my taut stomach.

I can't relax it, can't breathe, can't trust my voice, so I nod, and kiss her mouth again, wrapping my arms around her.

I hug her close, closing my eyes, clearing my throat.

I wipe a stray tear from the corner of my eye.

"Yeah, tomorrow."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	124. Chapter 124

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

She lets me pull away without a fight, without a word, and I turn to leave; without a word.

Stalking across the damp lawn, I can feel her eyes on me.

It's in the joining bone of my neck and shoulders, the small dip in the small of my back, the tingle.

I know.

I know she's watching.

I know she's worrying, wondering.

All bad things.

I wait until I'm safely out of sight before pulling over, putting the car in park, letting it fill, flood me; the teaming torment of my mind, my body, what's bursting to be let out.

My already wet eyes blur with the ache in my closed throat, giving way to the tightening in my jaw; the burn.

I bite, choking out a toothy sob, sucking it back in through sensitive, clenched teeth.

I can't stop; can't stop.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

Wheezing, wiping spit as it runs down my chin.

Closing my sore eyes, I see his wide, brown adoration, his trust, my reflection within them.

Why, why, why can't I be stronger?

Why can't I stop?

I sit there for the longest time leaning back, breathing air, staring off into space, wetting and re-wetting my swollen face with every blink.

The tears roll, wrapping around the back of my stiff neck, dripping down, drenching the lining of my shirt.

With a sniff, I stretch, reaching into my pocket, pulling out my phone.

I hit the needed number on my speed dial, putting it to my ear as I hear her answer.

I sniff again.

"Mom?"

* * *

Yay! We got a sweet momma's boy! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	125. Chapter 125

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

She opens her door to me, her arms, just like she always does.

Always.

Stroking the back of my hair, she hides her suspicions, trying to soothe the suffering.

It helps, but not nearly enough, and I sob into her shoulder.

Patiently, she holds me, just holds me, letting me rack her small frame with my cowardice cries.

And, I wonder if it was her choice, would she ever stop.

I don't know.

I've always been the first to let go.

"What's wrong, Baby? What happened?" She coos, cuddling the side of my head, and I hug her tighter.

"I- I have a son."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	126. Chapter 126

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

"What? Edward!" She screeches, pulling away; her eyes hopeful, searching, seeing the fear in mine.

"Oh, Sweetheart." Cradling my jaw, she tries to hide it, but her smile shines through the sympathy.

It demeans, sobers, putting an immediate end to the relentless tears.

Now I'm just angry, embarrassed; my feelings invalid by this reaction.

"She was fifteen!" I yell, walking past, stomping across the freshly waxed, faux wood floor, scuffing it for good measure.

"Fifteen, Mom! She shouldn't have been there!"

She's quiet, letting me pace, keeping a safe distance, and for good reason.

The last time she saw me like this, she had to replace the carpet, coffee table, and the T.V.

Pulling at the ends of my hair, I feel a familiar sting around my eyes.

It feels good; better than the agony of this unreleased anger.

"And, I love her! Pretty sure I loved her before I even knew her! How sick is that?"

* * *

Smack some sense into him, Momma! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	127. Chapter 127

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

She's unreadable as she stands, and stares; waiting for me to stop, give her a sign that I can keep it together.

It annoys me that I have to say it.

"I'm fine."

Crossing her arms over her chest, she looks down, toeing the floor.

"Are you?"

I sigh, frustrated.

"No."

Looking up at the sharp finish on the ceiling, I claw my face.

"Okay, well I'll call your father, let him kn-"

"No." I cut her off, quick to recover.

"I can call myself. I _want_ to call myself."

Nodding again, she turns, jerking her head.

She lets it drop for now.

"You hungry?"

She always asks, but I never have to answer.

I follow behind her into the kitchen, leaning against the counter, pressing my cheek to the cold granite.

"So.. tell me about this girl."

* * *

Mom's just have a way of putting you in your place, don't they? :D Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	128. Chapter 128

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

******So, I posted the wrong words on the last chap.. Whoops! If you got the wrong version, and she asked 'is it a boy or a girl' what she really said was 'tell me about this girl.' I've since replaced the chap with the right words. *sighs* Forgive me, I'm stupid. ; )**

* * *

_******E**_

She's wiping down the counter, sneaking peeks, when I notice her biting the inside of her cheek.

We've already talked about Bella, how we met, how she told me, leaving out the state of our undress.

I can tell by the dreamy grin on her face that she's fallen in love with her too, so I know what this look means.

I know exactly what she wants to ask me.

"His name's Tyler, and he's beautiful, Mom, so smart, funny."

Throwing the towel in the sink, she spins, propping her elbows on the opposite side of the counter, cradling her face, giving me her full attention.

"You're going to love him." She shakes her head, smiling wider than wide.

"I already do."

* * *

That kids gonna be so spoiled! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	129. Chapter 129

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I leave my mother's feeling weak, drained, all cried out.

My head lulls, eyelids droop on the car ride home.

The steps to my upstairs apartment have never looked so daunting; undoable.

But, I make it; fully dressed, falling face first onto the frameless mattress.

With a grunt, I flip over to my back, pulling my phone from my front pocket, pushing speed dial number three.

I'll have to change it.

It rings, and rings until I give up, only to dial again, and again.

She picks up on the third try.

"I miss you." I blurt, and I hear her huff into the receiver, sheepish; amused.

"So, come back over." Her teasing hits me in my gut; so deep, it warms.

The strained beat of my heart quickens.

"Don't tempt me." I warn, and she's quiet; her breath rhythmic, easing me into a light slumber.

I'm almost asleep when I hear her whisper.

"Come back."

* * *

Squeeeeee! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	130. Chapter 130

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I'm standing outside her door; their door, not sure what to do.

_Knock?_

_Ring the bell?_

_Pick a window and throw a pebble?_

_What?_

Grabbing my phone, I decide on a quiet text, but the door swings open, and she's standing there.

Covered with a short, low hanging v-neck tee, she's smiling, stunning, looking good enough to eat.

"Hey."

I step closer, tearing my gaze from the creamy length of her legs.

My hands find the tips of her long, brown hair, and she leans into me.

Silky-soft, and citrus-sweet.

"Hey." I sigh, nudging her cheek, kissing her temple, this close to purring; seduced, soothed as she silently takes my hand, leading me through the house, taking me to her room.

I breathe easy once she shuts the door, wrapping her small arms around my middle, kissing the peeled writing on my shirt.

"You came."

* * *

Not yet. ;) Bow chicka wow wow.. and with Papa Charlie in the house. Shame. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	131. Chapter 131

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Her fingers find their way under my hem, lifting; cool, skimming warm skin.

"I…" Brown eyes cast down, she stops; talking, skimming; pressing the pads into my stomach.

Lifting her chin, running my thumb over her bitten bottom lip, I encourage it to move, tell me what she was going to say.

"You what?"

I refrain from kissing the cracked, pink flesh.

"I thought maybe.." She stops again, and I shake my head, resting it against hers.

She can't say it, and I don't want her to, don't even want her to think it.

"Never."

I feel her nod, wrapping her arms, running her hands along my bare back.

"Okay."

She believes me completely, unconditionally.

I feel it lift from her relaxing shoulders; the fear, the doubt.

She believes me as she walks me backwards, pushing me to sit on the edge of the bed, climbing onto me, straddling my strained lap.

It's in her closed lip kisses, her open mouth grazes, the way she runs them down my stretched neck.

She believes me.

She believes me because it's true.

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	132. Chapter 132

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Soft, weathered material bunches in her hands, as she tries to undress me.

Grabbing her wrist, I bring it to my mouth, placing it against my lips.

"Maybe we should leave these on." Skimming the deep vee of her sleep shirt, I search her tired eyes, needing her to understand.

I want her, but not just this part.

"Good idea." She winks, tapping the tip of my nose before climbing off, and crawling across the bed.

My body complies when she motions, lifting the covers, settling underneath them.

I'm pulled, drawn in, shown the way by the persuasive beacon of her curling finger, the promise of her comfort, her affection; what only _she_ can give me.

"No funny business, promise." Hands palm up, her glint is playful, dancing in the dark iris of her eyes, curling the corner of her mouth.

Smiling, I slip off my shoes, slide into the bed, cuddling into the welcoming warmth.

I don't believe her.

* * *

I don't think I believe her either.. ;) Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	133. Chapter 133

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I pull her close; nose to nose, chest to chest, legs tangled, twisted in sheets of cozy cotton.

"I went to see my mom. I told her."

She worries her lip, biting sore, broken flesh.

I kiss it free.

"She's happy, wants to meet you, Tyler, even Charlie."

Smiling, she sticks that lip back in her massacring mouth, but I stop her.

Pulling it out with my thumb, I quietly yelp when she bites _me_.

"That's what you get." We both huff a laugh, humming, breathing the others breath.

Minty fresh, and cigarette laced.

We lie there, studying quietly, sharing stares, roaming touches, and Eskimo kisses.

When she speaks, her small voice startles.

"My mom and I were always really close. We would go shopping, stay up late eating ice cream, talking; all the time. So, it was a shock when she left."

I run my fingers along her hairline, pushing it back from her neck, cradling her trembling jaw.

"It was the day before my fifteenth birthday. I came home to find some bags packed." She sniffs, blinking out the setting glaze, clenching under the weight of my palm.

"That's why I was at that party. My friend's thought I needed to get out, get my mind off of her, how she left me."

I swallow the choke of my bleeding heart, as her sadness moistens my soothing hand, wishing I could take away her pain, that I had been the least bit sober that night.

It hurts to see her hurting.

"I should've never been there that night, Edward, I know. Believe me, I know, but even if I could, I wouldn't change anything."

She mirrors, resting her hand against my jaw, holding me with sincere, pretty, brown eyes, making sure I hear her.

"I would do it all over again; over, and over again."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	134. Chapter 134

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I take in what she says; letting it soak, seep in through muscle, and bone.

The passionate delivery of her words thrills my flesh, leaving it bumpy, prickling.

It influences.

Has the power to sway.

Maybe I wouldn't change a thing either.

Maybe, just maybe I would do it all over again; over, and over again.

Maybe.

The rest of the night we exchange facts, stories, deep, snorting laughs, and light, breathy chuckles.

And, kisses; so many kisses.

We haven't slept at all when we catch a peek of sun shining through the window, and a light knock on her bedroom door.

* * *

Who could that be? Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	135. Chapter 135

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

My heart jumps with every timid tap of rapping knuckles.

"Who is it?" I whisper, but it's not like it really matters.

No matter _who_ it is, this is bad.

This looks bad.

"It sounds like Tyler."

I lay back, running my hands over scratchy scruff, digging the heels into my eyes; almost wishing it was Charlie.

"Should I go out the window?"

I pull my hands away, looking up at the unnerving calm in her beautiful face.

She shrugs.

"Do you want to go out the window?"

I huff, not really sure, not knowing the right thing to do, the right thing to say.

"I don't know.. No."

Cocking her pretty head, her hand seeks, finding mine, squeezing it tight.

"He wouldn't want you to either."

* * *

Play those heart strings, Bella. ;) Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	136. Chapter 136

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

She tugs at the strings, playing my heart with her words; her way with them.

I nod my consent and she gets up, pulling on some thin leggings, heading for the door.

The butterflies scratch, and gnaw; fighting their way out with newly acquired teeth, and claws.

I'm not ready for this.

In no way am I ready for this.

Leaning back, I prop myself against the headboard, trying to act cool, casual.

I'm anything but.

_Maybe I should sit up._

_Stand at the side of the bed?_

_I can still make it out the window._

I look at the tempting, cracked route of my escape, while she unlocks the door; blowing out a centering breath as it opens.

"Edward?"

* * *

8| Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	137. Chapter 137

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Tyler stands at the door, staring, scratching his bed head.

It stands on end, sticking out in every direction, earning a smirk.

One more trait we wholeheartedly share.

"What are you doing here?"

He yawns, wiping his eyes, tripping over his own two feet as he toddles toward the end of the bed.

With a couple growling grunts, he hoists himself up, crawling, plopping down beside me.

He sighs.

I watch his little fingers run along my arm, tracing the scaly surface of the skin.

"Did you come to eat breakfast with us? Today's pancake day, and Mom lets me mix the batter. Do you like pancakes?"

His sleepy, brown eyes shift, searching my face, surfacing a fresh ache for all the pancake days I've missed.

Well, no more.

"I love pancakes. They're my favorite."

* * *

D'awww :) Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	138. Chapter 138

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

"Hey, they're my favorite too!"

His sleepy smile warms, soothing the sadness; this dull, pulsating ache sitting deep in my chest.

"Do you wanna help? You can add the blueberries. I like blueberries. Do you like blueberries?"

He chatters, using me as leverage, rising to his knees.

Bouncing.

Bouncing.

Bouncing.

Not really caring for an answer.

Astonished by his oh so early energy, I watch, listen in wonder.

With every jump his cinnamon tufts flop, causing a light sweat, coloring his cheeks a burnt, fireball red.

His breathy laughs get caught in a snort, causing all three of us to laugh harder.

Finally out of breath, he falls back, breathing heavily, recovering quickly.

"Let's go!"

Shouting, rolling off the bed, he lands feet first with a quaking thud, popping our giddy bubble.

I wait.

I wait until we're alone, until the pitter patter of his little, padded feet fades.

And, she just knows.

Just like she always does, she just knows.

"Don't worry, he's not here."

* * *

I made a scaleward banner! I saved it as the image to this story, but idk if it's showing yet. If you absolutely can't wait to see it, hit me up on fb jonesn fanfiction. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	139. Chapter 139

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

All it takes is that one sentence.

Five words and I'm out the door, chasing after him; the funny, smart, fireball-cheeked, little man who's stolen half of my heart, it's beat, it's lifeblood.

My son.

Spotting him climbing the too-tall counter, I pick him up from behind, placing a peck on the top of his so-like-mine hair.

I can't help it.

I can't hold it in.

I can't hold it back; this love for him.

Not anymore.

He doesn't seem to notice, doesn't seem to care about the affection I've so openly displayed.

Opening and closing cupboards, he pushes, pulls, and shuffles, handing me what he knows we need.

Grabbing supplies from his small, capable hands, I'm in awe of him; his initiative, his knowledge, his know-how.

No way did he get any of this from me.

No way.

Feeling Bella's hands, I reach back, pulling her close, kissing her full on the mouth.

Thanking her for this, for him, for what she gave him that I never could, never would be able to.

Thanking her for her, the way she moves me, handles me, loves me; the way nobody ever has.

"Ewwww, you're not supposed to kiss girls! They have cooties!"

* * *

How many of you checked the last chap and counted the words in that sentence? LOL Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	140. Chapter 140

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

One of the best things about Tyler is he accepts it as it comes, how it's given to him.

He's susceptible, impressionable, believes everything he's told.

It's endearing.

"Mom's don't have cooties."

I state confidently, holding Bella closer, kissing her again.

He doesn't even think about it.

"Oh!" He accepts, balancing on my shoulder.

Leaning down, he puckers, kissing his mother on the lips with a loud smack.

With a plop, he sits on the edge of the counter, demanding we get started.

Once Bella's mixed the ingredients, she hands him the bowel, smiling, winking as she turns away.

I add the blueberries to Tyler's liking as he stirs, and then we sit; we wait while Bella pours, and flips the doughy batter; resting our chins on the kitchen table, copying each other's funny faces.

I'm not quite ready for what he asks once the food is finished, and in front of us on the table.

"When I'm done do you think I can see your earrings?"

* * *

Ha! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	141. Chapter 141

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

"Eat, and we'll see."

He shoves the cut up pieces of pancake into his mouth, and I turn to Bella, shrugging.

"I was thinking maybe you could come by tonight, I could work on the tatt, we could.. talk." My eyes shift, seeing Tyler plowing his plate, landing back on Bella's frowning face.

"I'm busy tonight." She jerks her head toward Tyler, and I nod in understanding, still wanting her to come.

"Okay.. so bring him too."

I can see the wheels turning, as she takes a small bite.

Stalling, she takes a long drink of milk.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." I don't hesitate.

"It's just.." She stops, and I nudge her foot under the table, encouraging.

"There's a lot of expensive looking equipment in the shop, Edward. What if something gets broken?" Lifting a brow, _her_ eyes shift to the precious little boy devouring his breakfast, and I shake my head.

"Don't worry about it. I want you two to come."

* * *

Another? Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	142. Chapter 142

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

She doesn't say anything, only looks down, picking at her meal, so I push it.

"Hey Tyler, you wanna come see where I work tonight?" Mouth full, he nods fervently, and I grin in triumph, catching a glimpse of her small smile; thankful, glad she's not angry at me for overstepping my boundaries; whatever those boundaries are.

I don't know.

I'll have to ask.

We finish, and Bella collects the empty plates.

Standing, I offer to wash them, but she brushes me off, setting them in the sink, saving them for later.

I have her walk me out to the porch, holding Tyler soundly in my arms, promising to show him my rings tonight at the shop.

It's a firm condition he sets in order to let me go.

And when he's out of my arms, and I'm in my car, I miss him.

I miss his warmth.

I miss his weight; the way he wraps it around me.

I miss him.

And, I miss his mother.

* * *

You guys wouldn't want another, would you? Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	143. Chapter 143

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

The rest of the day doesn't necessarily go as planned.

And, I'm big on plans; have to be.

Pulling up to the shop, I see a line outside.

Confused, I pull in, putting the car in park, almost leaving it run out on the street.

_That would've been good._

"What the hell?"

Pushing passed the crowd, I unlock the door, and they all come flooding in; bitching, and moaning about dependability, and lousy customer service.

All,_"If you can't run it, maybe you shouldn't own it."_

And, my personal favorite, _"I think all the silver went straight to his metal-filled head."_

_Really?_

I'm this close to busting faded "Mom" right in his bearded face when Jasper strolls in, hands on his narrow hips.

And, those fucking jeans.

Those fucking, red, low rise jeans.

"Where the fuck have you been?" I growl, keeping my voice down to appease the assholes we serve.

He scoffs, calmly brushing past me, setting up his first client, and I follow, motioning for asshole number one.

I dig all morning, plowing through nothing but generic, predictable designs.

Glaring at the back of his big, blonde head, I don't even have to look; they're embedded, tatted on my DNA.

It makes me miss Bella.

"I thought I told you to stop wearing Alice's clothes."

Pushing and prodding, I try to get a rise.

All day, I try to get him to feel half as angry as I do.

___"You might wanna think about a higher waist line, your muffin tops popping over."_

_"What? Did Alice have to grease you down before you could pull them up? Is that why you were late?"_

But this is Jasper, he doesn't get angry, he gets serious.

"Have you called your therapist?"

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	144. Chapter 144

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

My shoulders relax when I realize how big of an ass I'm actually being, only to tense back up again.

I didn't call, and I was supposed to.

Now it's too late, and they're closed.

_Shit._

"You need to call, Edward. I haven't seen you act like this sense.."

He stops, leaving out '_the last time you relapsed.',_ and I'm thankful.

That was over six years ago.

"I mean, I understand that you're upset, I do. But, you were supposed to be here too. I simply slept in. Where were you?"

Leaning against the freshly wiped counter, he rests his chin in his hand, waiting.

"Slept in."

He shakes his head.

"You're lying."

* * *

Everyone seems to angry with Jasper.. lol Idk why, Edward's the one that picked on him all day. ;) Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	145. Chapter 145

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

He's right.

I'm lying.

I'm about to tell him the truth; don't know why I didn't before, but the bell chimes.

Fresh citrus mixes, masking the pleasant musk of playtime sweat, and my heart begins to beat again.

They're here.

The look on my face says it all.

_I can't tell him right now._

_We'll talk later._

And, he'll hold me to it.

I'll tell him.

I'll tell everyone.

I'll shout it from the roof tops, just not right now.

Packing up quickly, he silently walks out the door, and I'm left with a freshly, beating heart, and them; my family.

The way it should be.

Always.

"I missed you guys."

Bending, I kiss the top of Tyler's damp hair, picking him up, placing him on my hip.

Then, I kiss his mother.

Her mouth.

My Bella.

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	146. Chapter 146

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Tyler wiggles, and I put him down, taking a moment to kiss Bella full on the mouth; slipping in a little tongue while he walks over to the hollow, glass counter.

I don't pull away until she does.

"What are these?" He points to the array of metal, and colorful plastic displayed inside the clear case.

Now's a good a time as any.

Crouching down to his level, I look him in his big, brown eyes.

"We use these for when we pierce someone." Thin brows crease, as he crinkles his nose, not understanding.

"They're like earrings." I explain, and he points to my chest.

"Like the ones in your shirt?" He asks, and I huff nervously, standing to kiss him on the head, tousling his unruly hair.

"Yeah, like the ones in my shirt."

Turning back to Bella, I jerk my head towards the back, motioning for her to follow us, and I grab his hand, pulling him along.

Once we're out of sight, I sit Tyler in my chair, and pull up a stool, keeping my promise.

Lifting my shirt, I throw it over his head, and he giggles, ripping it off, staring at my chest, the skin, the rings.

Reaching out, he tries to touch them, but I grab his wrist.

"Do they hurt?"

I shake my head.

"No, but it tickles."

He nods in understanding, pulling his hand back to rest on his lap.

"Why do you want that paint on you all the time? Does it come off?"

His simple way of putting things puts a painful smile on my face.

My cheeks pull, burn.

He's asked me this before, and I never really explained, but now, here in the shop, I can.

I can show him.

"No, it doesn't come off. It's not paint, it's ink, and it's in the skin. Do you want me to show you?"

* * *

You guys make me want to write a full length story about these guys.. Love your words you leave me, love that you beg me for more! Ha! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	147. Chapter 147

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

He nods, but it's hesitant, nothing like the reaction I was expecting.

"Here Baby, you sit in my lap, and you can watch."

He nods again, holding out his arms, and curls into Bella's welcoming lap, laying his head against her comforting chest.

I think maybe we shouldn't do this; maybe it's too much.

"It's okay, Baby." She soothes, smoothing his hair back, kissing his forehead.

"It doesn't hurt; it tickles, just like your da-.. Edward said."

He giggles, and she looks over at me, wide-eyed, yet relieved that she caught herself.

I offer an amused smirk, almost wishing she had slipped; ready for him to know.

But, one life-altering thing at a time; I think that's all his impressible mind can handle.

He tenses with the kick of the needle, just like his mother, and I hum in approval, loving their easily startled similarities.

Curling in closer, he watches, enraptured with the vibrating iron.

"Can I touch it?"

His little voice is barely audible over the buzz, but I hear him, and I nod.

I let him touch above my protecting hand, and he jerks back, putting his finger in his mouth, giggling.

"That _does _tickle."

* * *

:D Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	148. Chapter 148

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

After feeling what it can do, Tyler seems more comfortable, leaning in, watching the lithe movement of my wrist, checking on his mother every once in awhile.

It warms me, every single part of me; how caring, and protective he is of her.

I stop just passed her forearm, letting Tyler help clean, and cover the area; explaining again how the color is in the skin, and won't wash off.

He just can't seem to accept this one for truth as he watches, and questions, reaching for a bottle of black ink, knocking it over.

In a flash Bella's on her knees, picking up the spilt container, but I pull her back before she touches it, getting ink all over her.

"Oh God, Edward, I'm sorry; so, so sorry!" She practically wails, near tears, worrying me, and Tyler who's cowering behind the chair.

Pulling her close, I stroke long strands of hair, shushing her; more upset with her reaction than the mess on the floor; which is surprising.

Anybody else, and I would have had their head, clumsy hands, and ass.

But, these two aren't just anybody.

"It's okay, Bella. It's just ink, replaceable. In fact, I think it adds some character, which is cool cause it's not coming out."

She snickers into my chest, heating it with relieved breath, and I hug her tighter, touching feather-light kisses, whispering into the crown of her head.

"You don't have to worry, Baby; everything's fine, always will be. You make it that way."

* * *

D'awww using her own sweet words on her.. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	149. Chapter 149

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Bella melts into me, muscles loosening; breath, heartbeat slowing.

I hold her, beckoning Tyler out from behind the chair with a flicker of a finger, and he slowly shuffles over, cuddling, clinging to my jean clad leg.

It makes me feel wanted, needed, like a man.

Soothing him with touch, I tousle his hair, and he looks up with a shy smile.

"We should probably go home. It's getting late."

She mumbles, hugging tight, then pulling away.

And while I don't want to, I let her, wishing she could stay, wishing _they _could stay; even though I know they shouldn't.

Tyler doesn't have a bed here, and there's no way I'm letting him sleep on my pathetic excuse for a bed, or the busted, dirty couch.

I don't even want him to see them, so I'll let them go; but, just for now.

"Yeah, let me walk you out."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	150. Chapter 150

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I take Tyler's hand, but he doesn't budge, only reaches up and out, and I take him into my arms, placing him on my hip.

Resting his head against my shoulder, I feel a tug in my aching chest, re-thinking letting them go.

They could sleep on the mattress; it's really not that bad, not as bad as this pain I'm feeling, knowing they won't be here.

I want them, need them to be here; always.

Always.

Always.

Always.

The chime of the bell startles, ending the thoughtful silence, and I cuddle Tyler further under my chin; silently begging Bella to stop in her tracks, turn around, ask if they can.

_Please._

_Ask._

_Stay._

But, she doesn't.

She walks ahead, facing forward, opening the back of the dented Sedan.

Handing Tyler over, I wait until he's buckled in, bending to kiss his drowsy head, smooth his standing-on-end hair.

When she shuts the door, I pull her close, kissing her forehead, nose, and lips; lips, lips, lips.

"I'm making an appointment with my therapist. Go with me?"

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	151. Chapter 151

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Pulling out my last pack, I pound it into my palm.

It's instinct, natural, and I have no idea why I do it.

I hear it tightens the tobacco, packs it down towards the filter; longer lasting, slower burn.

But, what do I know?

It's comforting, familiar, and safe; that's what.

"So, what's up?"

Jasper sneaks from behind me, coming to lean against the burnt, red brick of our building.

I didn't even hear the bell.

"I have a kid."

I blurt, staring down, eyes focused on the emblem of the soft packs center.

He blows out an audible breath.

"Are you sure it's yours?"

His careless question catches me off guard, sets me off, and I clench, grinding the last of the soothing sticks, turning them to useless ash.

_Fuck._

"Of course he's mine! He looks just like me! What the fuck is wrong with you?" I lash, unreasonably really; it's a legit question, a justifiable concern, but I can't help hating that he asked it.

"Okay, Okay! Shit, I'm sorry." Raising his hands, he surrenders, making me feel like even more of an ass.

Shaking my head, I open the pulverized pack, cringing at what I find.

_Shit._

"Sorry, it's just…" I stop, hearing the sound of a closing car door, seeing her when I finally look up.

Pushing off the brick, I meet her halfway, considering leaving without a word.

But, I don't.

Swallowing my fear, I reach out; pull her close, turning back toward my chastised friend.

"Bella, this is Jasper, my business partner, and good friend. Jasper, this is Bella, my girl."

* * *

His girl.. swoons. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	152. Chapter 152

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

A couple of timid 'hi's', and 'nice to meet you's', and we're off in Bella's cozy Sedan.

The tepid, cloth seats beat the shocking, cool of my Torino's leather, and I slouch, taking her outstretched hand in mine.

"Thank you for doing this."

My thumb strokes, showing appreciation through not only sound, but touch.

I want her to know it, to feel it; how much I appreciate this, her.

I leave out the fact that I think she needs it too.

"You don't have to thank me, Edward. I want to." She squeezes, briefly taking her eyes off the road, kissing the back of my twined hand.

Smiling, I turn, looking out the passenger side window; watching the passing blur, thinking.

"I was thinking.." I start, losing how I was going to say what I was going to say.

"What? What were you thinking?"

I hear the whip of her head, feel the glance of her eyes, but I don't look.

"I was thinking about buying some new furniture, and thought maybe you could come with me, ya know, after."

I feel her squeeze, keeping a firm hold, and I think maybe she understands, even without me saying it.

"Yeah, I'd love to."

* * *

Who's ready for this therapy session? Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	153. Chapter 153

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

The office is different from what I remember.

New swing back chairs fill the small waiting area.

Blue fabric covers the white wash wood, making it pop.

It catches the eye, holds your attention; calms, relaxes.

It's serene.

Nice.

"You're shaking."

Bella's whisper blows, tickling the shell of my ear, and I fold, leaning into her.

"Am I?"

I ask, dumbly.

Of course I am.

I always am.

Always.

"Yeah. You know it's okay, right? I'm right here; always will be." She insures, stroking the nape of my bent neck, kissing the side of my bowed head.

I rely too much on it, on her; her strength, and balance.

It's why I'm here.

I need my own.

"Yeah, I know."

Lifting my head, I smile, capturing her worried lip; inappropriately sucking it into my mouth as they call us back.

"Edward Masen?"

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	154. Chapter 154

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Keeping hold of her hand, we stand, walking a quiet trek across the commercial carpet, and passed the dark, cherry-stained, front desk.

I tighten my grip, following Ms. Pantsuit down; down a winding, white hall, and into a blue-hued room; lots of blue.

I don't let go as we sit on the soft, black suede of the lounge, waiting, and waiting, and waiting.

Time passes without a word.

My hand starts to sweat, or maybe that's hers, maybe both.

I don't know.

All I know is I don't want to let go, and as soon as I do the door opens.

I'm reaching for Bella as Dr. Denali walks in.

Smiley, bleach blonde, big, bulky glasses; just the way I remember.

Casual pleasantries, and introductions pass a small amount of time, and then it's down to business; no beating around the bush.

"So, what brings you and Bella in, Edward?"

* * *

Okay, so we're getting there.. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	155. Chapter 155

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Dr. Denali knows this story; my story.

She knows I grew up in a structured setting, with supportive parents, and lots of love.

She also knows how I felt the strain; the strain of expectation, assumptions; how my father just expected, assumed I would become a doctor like him, how I needed to work harder, get better grades.

It was a constant.

A constant stress.

A constant fear.

I didn't want to be a doctor, never would, never could.

Never.

Alcohol, then weed; they were my only escape, until they weren't enough, couldn't stop the shake, couldn't calm me the way I needed, the way I craved.

Next were the pills, my mom's not-so-secret stash, and they worked… for a little while at least.

But, nothing, nothing could comfort, nothing could calm that night; the night I told him.

The night I shot up for the first time.

That's all it took.

One time.

Then another, and another, and another, until I'm dead; lying lifeless in that painfully hard hospital bed; floating, floating, floating; knocked back, chained down with a charged blow to the chest.

Dr. Denali knows, but I repeat it.

I dictate every fact, every tortuous detail because _she_ needs to know.

Bella needs to know why; why I don't remember her, why I couldn't be there.

But, I can now.

And, she needs to know that too.

* * *

Sorry for knocking you down, but I picked you up in the end. ;) Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	156. Chapter 156

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

She holds tight, thumbing the side of my hand as I explain how I know this is my fault; how I know my father would love me regardless, how I was weak, and stupid, and just wanted to relax, forget.

But, never her.

I never wanted to forget her.

Turning, I kiss her comforting hand, look her in the eye.

"You don't have to walk on egg shells around me; you don't have to treat me differently. If you're mad, be mad. If you want to scream, scream. If you want to tell me how much of a selfish ass I am, by all means, tell me. I can handle it, okay?" I plead, and she nods, mouth agape.

"I feel like you're scared; like you think maybe I'll relapse if I get too stressed, and that's a reasonable concern, but if I did _you, Tyler_; it wouldn't be your fault. It would be my fault, mine." Pounding the center of my chest, I signify, stress my point.

I need her to see, feel, know; they aren't going to break me.

"It would be because I want to, plain and simple. Nothing you did, do, didn't do could change it, understand?"

She nods again, tears collecting around the brim of her sad, brown eyes.

With a blink, they tumble over, and I catch them.

"I'm not going to feed you empty promises, Bella. I'm not going to tell you for certain that it won't happen, but I will tell you this.. I don't want to. I haven't wanted to in six years, and I didn't want to when I found about Tyler, not even when he spilt the ink, and destroyed the carpet. It was cheap." I joke, and she laughs, laughs through the rolling tears.

"I don't want to, Bella. And, the way I'm feeling, I don't think I'll _ever_ want to, but I won't promise. Just don't be scared; not of me. That's all I ask."

* * *

I think that's the most he's spoken in all 156 chaps.. Wow, that's a lot of chaps. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	157. Chapter 157

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Bella remains silent, wiping her tears as they slow, and I turn back towards Dr. Denali, explaining our situation, my fears, and excitement, the anger I seem to feel towards everyone else; everyone but Bella, and Tyler.

She says it's normal; redirecting the outlet of my fears towards people who I know, who I trust not to leave me, so I redirect it at her; scoffing, yelling, snarling, telling her it's nothing like that; that I trust Bella Wholly, entirely, completely, that she's the only one who seems to calm me; her and Tyler.

I tell her she's wrong, even though I know she's probably right, and when I feel a light squeeze around my trembling hand, I apologize.

Looking over at Bella, I apologize again.

"I'm sorry."

And she knows, she just knows what I mean.

I'm sorry we don't know each other better, but we will.

I'm sorry we don't trust each other fully, but we will.

I'm sorry these fears hinder us, and our ability to move forward in an equal, meaningful relationship, but we will.

We will.

"I'm sorry."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	158. Chapter 158

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

As our time comes to a close, Bella soothes me; running her nails up and down my taut back, and I pull her in, wrap my tense arms around her.

"I know, I know. S'okay." She slurs as I tighten my grip, grateful just to hear her voice, to hear her say it, mean it.

It's okay.

We'll be okay.

We will.

With the clearing of Dr. Denali's throat, we part; excused with those two, concluding words.

"Time's up."

Goodbyes are exchanged, hands are shaken, and Bella and I are out the office door, down the hall, and in front of the deep, cherry desk, setting up our next appointment.

We need it.

We want to.

The silence is deafening on our slow, clasped trek to the car.

My ears to hum, and I swallow, resisting the pull towards the corner, convenient store; needing a cigarette, not necessarily wanting one.

"So... furniture?"

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	159. Chapter 159

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Nodding, I look away from the shining sign in the store window, climbing in the passenger side door, and we clasp our hands once she's shifted into gear.

"Do you know what you're looking for?"

I shrug, briefly eyeing her, turning to look out the window.

"I need a new bed, one with an actual frame, and a new mattress."

I see her nod out of the corner of my eye, swallowing the nervousness bubbling up, and over.

"I was thinking I could get a pull-out couch, ya know, more options. If someone wanted to stay, I would have a place for them to sleep."

Beating around the bush doesn't sit well; sounds creepy, cryptic.

Adjusting in the seat, I wipe a sweaty palm against the rough of my jeans, clearing my closing throat.

"Ya know, you and Tyler, if you uh; if you guys wanted to stay."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	160. Chapter 160

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

"Really?"

She's sounds surprised, looking at me a little too long, and I point forward, towards the road.

"Well, yeah. I wanted you to stay the other night, but I didn't want him seeing the apartment; not the way it is."

She's quiet as I continue to stare out the windshield, jumping when a big, fat raindrop smacks against the glass.

"He doesn't care, Edward. He doesn't care what your apartment looks like. If you would have asked, we would have stayed." She reassures, tightening her grip around my hand.

"He talks about you all the time, and I mean _all the time._ Edward this, and Edward that. He even asked if we could take his race car bed to your place, just so you could sleep in it."

That last confession tickles, and I bark a laugh.

"See, he doesn't even know, Edward, and he loves you already."

* * *

Last one for the night. Figured I'd warn you, Artemis Leaena.. LOL Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	161. Chapter 161

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Keeping my eyes out the window, I focus on the road, thinking about what she said; picturing Tyler asking in all his seriousness, sincerity; wondering how I got so lucky.

I don't deserve him; his unconditional everything, but I'll take it.

"You really think he loves me?" I question, not really doubting, just wanting to hear it again.

"I _know _he does." She stresses, as we pull up to the outlet.

Climbing out, I wait, taking her hand in mine once she's around the car, and I bombard her; concerned, unsure, over-thinking it.

'_What's his favorite color?'_

'_Do you think he would prefer a print?'_

'_Cotton, or microfiber?'_

By the time we make it inside I'm a flustered mess.

No cigarettes.

No gum.

I cling, letting her browse, begging her to pick; something, anything; settling when she finally does, thankful that it can be delivered later today.

Once we're back outside, the cool breeze hits; blowing over me, drying the stress induced sweat, cooling my over-heated skin.

"I want you to stay tonight. I want to tell him. I want to tell him tonight."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	162. Chapter 162

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

She palms my chest, right over my beating heart; her hand, the only thing holding it in place.

"Okay, it's okay. We'll tell him, but you have to calm down." I nod, holding back a huff, blowing it out my nose.

_See?_

_Calm._

"He can feel your moods, Edward. If you're anxious, he'll be anxious, and he won't understand why. We have to be careful, sensitive." I nod again, bringing my thumb to my mouth, biting the nail.

"So.. you don't think you should stay? Is that what you're saying? Is that not being careful?" I bite, and she smiles, pulling the distraction from my mouth, kissing it with hers.

"Maybe?.." She shrugs, and I feel my face fall.

"How bout we take him to the park, get something to eat. We could have lunch on one of those covered picnic tables, and we can tell him there; someplace open, familiar. We'll just spend the day together, answering any questions he might have, and then.. we'll let him decide."

I nod once again, calmly agreeing.

_See?_

_Calm._

"Yeah, let him decide; that sounds good."

* * *

Sorry, I've been slacking, and not just here, no. ;) Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	163. Chapter 163

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Tyler's been chewing on the same chicken nugget for the last ten minutes; setting it down on the dirty picnic table, picking it back up; nibbling.

Ten minutes.

"You aren't hungry, Baby?"

Bella questions, picking up the chewed nugget, placing it back in the clean container, and my shoulders drop, relax.

There's bird shit everywhere.

Shrugging, he takes an exaggerated sip of his orange drink; sucking in, hollowing his cheeks; doing it again when he hears me laugh.

And again, and again, until Bella thankfully stops him.

I look over when I feel her lightly squeeze my thigh.

'_Ready?' _She mouths, raising her brows, and I nod, clearing my throat; not quite sure how to start, if I should start.

But, she knows, senses, and saves me like she always does.

"Tyler-baby, do you remember when I told you how sometimes daddies have to go away?"

* * *

*sigh* kids and their laughter-encouraged repetition. :D Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	164. Chapter 164

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Tyler sets his drink back down on the table, grabbing the half eaten nugget, nodding as he nibbles the other side.

"Well…" Her brow furrows, trying to think of how to say this; this little bit of information that's going to change this little boy's life, my life, her life.

_Our_ life.

"Well, sometimes.. sometimes they come back.. if they can, when they're ready." She looks to me, unsure, and I grab her hand under the table, offering a small smile; silently reminding _her_ to stay calm, that it's okay.

"They do?" We both turn towards Tyler.

Throwing the nugget down, he licks his lips, wiping them on the sleeve of his jacket.

The movement is casual, innocent, making me, my heart smile, and I nod; more than ready.

"Yeah bud, they do.. and well uh, yours did.. I'm your dad."

* * *

o_O yeah, so.. this was awkward to write. Would anybody have done it differently? _Has_ anybody done it differently? Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	165. Chapter 165

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

******I just want to say thank you to SunflowerFran** (my ususal, wonderfully tallented beta) **for**** letting me bounce off of her, and giving me some insight. This one was kinda difficult.**

* * *

_******E**_

Tyler smiles shyly, picking up another nugget; a new, uneaten nugget, and holds it up to his nose, hiding behind it.

"You are?" With a rise in his shoulders, he squeaks, throwing the nugget back in the container, looking down at the ground.

The reaction worries me, makes me think that maybe it's too much; maybe I've just ruined this kid, broke him.

It was too fast, too abrupt.

I had one chance, and I blew it.

Completely messed it up.

_Shit!_

"Were you in Alaska? Seth's dad is in Alaska." He looks up, sticking his fingers between the worn, wood boards, and I shake my head, clearing my throat; thrown off by the specificity of the question.

"No, I wasn't in Alaska."

Peering over at Bella, I'm wide-eyed and shrugging; knowing what I want to say, not knowing if I should say it.

All she offers is a smile, and a reassuring squeeze to the thigh.

I return neither, turning back to Tyler, swallowing down the bile. "I uh, I was sick."

His brow furrows. "Were you in the hospital?"

He asks, and in a flash, I'm sweating; resisting the urge to wipe away the little beads moisture rolling down the center of my back. "For a little while."

Looking back down, he pulls his fingers out, poking at his uneaten nugget, and I'm thinking this is it; I just know he's going to ask what happened, why I was there, what made me sick, and what am I going to say, what am I going to tell him?

_The truth?_

_A lie?_

_I was just sick?_

But, he doesn't.

Just like his mother, I think he knows.

He just knows.

"Are you better now?"

His little voice is low, and timid; barely audible over a passing car, but I hear it; I hear him, and he makes me smile.

"Yeah, I'm better now."

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	166. Chapter 166

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Once Tyler has his answers, the questions stop.

He silently climbs off the bench, walking around the picnic table, coming to stand in between me and Bella.

He pokes my arm with his small, index finger.

"I wanna swing."

Without a word, I throw my legs over the bench, and we make our way across the playground, hand in hand.

We swing, slide, and run, and play until he's passed out in my arms, drooling on my shoulder.

I don't even care.

"Let's go back to your place."

Bella cuddles up next to me, wrapping an arm around my waist, and I look down, searching beautiful, brown eyes.

"Yeah?" I ask, adjusting, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, holding on tight to the both of them.

"Yeah."

* * *

D'awww.. sorry it's taken all day.. I've been writing for my other two stories, but good news!.. Something More is almost done, thank God! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	167. Chapter 167

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Walking into the shop, I'm holding Tyler.

He's passed out, and drooling, but the girls still flock; gathering around the three of us.

I make introductions, and even though it wasn't his place, I'm relieved Jasper's already filled them all in.

I'm also thankful he was here to help out the movers, no questions asked.

"Oh my God, he's so cute, isn't he Rose?" Alice quietly squeals, playing with his dirty-shoed foot, and Rose leans in to smell him.

"Yes, too cute, and smells so good, so sweaty and sweet! Oh God, where's Emmett? We gotta go make one of these." She gushes, walking off, searching in all seriousness.

We're all made aware once she's found him.

"_A what? !"_

We burst out in laughter at his reaction, reining it in as Tyler begins to stir, but it's too late; he's awake, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, sucking up the drool around his mouth.

He yawns, resting his head back against my chest.

It nearly explodes with the single, mumbled word that falls from him.

"Dad?"

* * *

Let's all say it together now.. 'Awwwwwww' ;) lol Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	168. Chapter 168

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

My heart leaps.

It bounds.

Pounding so, so very hard as I hug him tight, lightly kissing his head.

Closed lips linger, skimming sweaty hair, encasing a choke, the sordid sobs that he, no one else needs to hear.

Happy tears, ugly cries; they would only confuse, scare him.

Swallowing a lump, I unhinge my jaw, clearing the burn from my throat.

"Yeah, Bud?"

I look down, as he lifts his head, looking around, biting back a timid smile.

"Hey there, cutie!" Alice teases, tickling his sides.

Giggling, he wiggles, reaching around my neck, pulling himself up, and closer.

He shies, lazily flicking the plug in my ear.

This isn't the hot chocolate having, race car bed sharing, nipple ring curious kid I've come to know.

And, it makes me laugh.

"What? You don't want to meet your aunts and uncles?"

I ask, and he pushes back, shooting my chest that backward grin.

He nods.

"Yeah."

* * *

I'm off today! And, you know what that means.. :)) Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	169. Chapter 169

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I try to let him down, but Tyler clings; his tiny fingers curling into the holes of my shirt.

He's quiet during the doting introductions, refusing to look anyone but Bella in the eye.

And soon he's yawning again, laying his head back against my settled chest; tired, bored, both.

Taking Bella's hand, I lead her upstairs, parting with some nice to meet yous, see you laters, and Alice's promise to buy her way into Tyler's '_precious, little heart'_.

I make a mental note to let Bella know that she's not kidding.

Alice doesn't joke.

Climbing the creaking stairs, I'm confused, thrown, unsure of where I am once we enter the unrecognizable apartment.

All my old, plastic furniture's gone; TV stand, both sides, and a coffee table, all replaced with second-hand, pine-stained wood.

I know this wood.

I've seen this wood.

It was Alice's.

She did this.

She's turned this hole into a home; warmed it up with splashes of color from the large, living room rug.

"Amazing."

Bella praises her work, looking, touching, taking everything in.

When she turns back, she points, and I shake my head.

"Nope; Alice."

Smirking, she nods, twirling in a scanning circle.

"I think I may have to kiss her." She wiggles her brows, coming closer, kissing me instead.

Taking my hand, she pulls me.

"Let's go to bed."

* * *

I want an Aunt Alice.. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	170. Chapter 170

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

We all lie on the new queen, Tyler in the middle, agreeing we should be near in case he wakes.

Reaching over our sleeping son, I thumb the pink apple of Bella's cheek, run needy fingers through her silky, brown hair; wanting, wishing I were closer.

My whole body, half of my heart; it thrives, beats for her.

They belong to her.

Only her.

"I love you."

I whisper, blowing it across her beautiful face; these words, this truth; her lashes, my heart flutters.

"Edward."

She sings.

My name, her song sounds so sweet coming from those lips; her lips, they lure.

Reaching just the same, she cups my jaw, scooting, meeting me halfway; halfway on everything.

Everything.

"I love you, too."

* * *

Killin all yall tonight! Weapon of choice.. sugary sweetness. Ha-Ha! ;) Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	171. Chapter 171

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

I can hear her; twisting, turning, huffing in frustration.

How do I convey that I'm feeling it too?

The same?

Twisting, and turning, I huff, and she giggles, making me, my heart smile.

"I love you."

I whisper, looking off into the dark, telling her again with my words.

And now, now I want to show her with my actions.

But, I can't, not yet, and not all parts of me seem to understand.

"I love you too."

She whispers back, and I can hear it in her voice, feel it in the vibrations.

She wants to show me too.

* * *

That was exactly 100 words. Ha! I saw it as a sign. ;) sorry for the short tease! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	172. Chapter 172

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Somehow I fall asleep.

I don't know how, but I do, only to wake up with a bounce in the brand new springs.

"Wake up! Wake up! I want pancakes!"

Tyler yells.

Bouncing.

Bouncing.

Bouncing some more, until I stir, turning to swipe his feet from underneath him.

He giggles, screams as I lift his shirt, blowing on his bare stomach.

"Pancakes, huh?"

I ask, and he fervently nods, straining his sweet, fireball cheeks, showing me all but one of his pearly, white teeth.

"Well then, let's go! I know the perfect place."

* * *

I wonder what, or who's place he's talking about... hint, hint.** ;) Oh, and uh.. *clears throat* With all the extra, the last chap was 151 words.. the story itself was exactly 100, trust. Or, you could go back, count them, and then eat YOUR words, guest reviewer. :D Thanks to everybody else for your kind words! Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	173. Chapter 173

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

******Thanks to SunflowerFran for the visual ;) **

* * *

_******E**_

After pulling Bella aside, I call and confirm our plans.

_Our_ plans.

It sounds nice; right.

Even though it's a short ride, it's going to be an anxious one, and as I pull out, I turn up the radio, trying to drown the buzzing in my ears.

My brief glances in the rearview mirror are frequent.

Looking out the window, Tyler bobs, singing the few words that he knows.

"_Dance, dance, dance, dance"_

I find myself relaxing, smiling, watching him move to the beat flowing from the speakers.

The kid's got moves.

"_Hands, hands, hands, hands"_

Squeezing Bella, I jerk my head towards the back seat, and she peeks, just as he throws his tiny hands in the air, swinging them from side to side.

"_Hey-o! Gotta let go!"_

We silently snicker, grinning to ourselves, afraid that if he hears us, he'll stop.

But, his pronounced annunciation sets me off, sending us both into a snorting fit, so he yells it again.

"_Dy-no-mite!"_

And again, and again, and again, until we're pulling into the drive, and I'm putting in park; opening the door, folding down the front seat, and he yells it once more.

Smiling, I hold out my hand, and he takes it, easily sliding off the leather.

"Where are we?"

He questions, walking up to the door, ringing the doorbell; a complete one-eighty from the shy, reserved child in the shop.

Tousling his hair, I bend at the waist, kissing his bed head as the door swings open.

"Oh God, Edward! He looks just like you!"

* * *

Squeee! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	174. Chapter 174

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

My mother bends to take him all in.

Her eyes sparkle, shine, moisten with awe.

She's happy; happier than I've seen her in a long time, happier than I've maybe _ever_ seen her.

"Hi Tyler. I'm your Grandma, Esme."

With a voice so soft, she squats, holding her arms out to him, and hesitantly, he steps into them.

Laying his head against her chest, arms at his sides, he lets her hug him to her fill.

When she finally stands, she pulls Bella in, holding her tight, whispering how thankful she feels, how beautiful Bella and Tyler are, so many kind, wonderful words.

Wiping a tear, she looks down, holding out her hand, and Tyler takes it with a shy smile.

She leads us through the house, stopping by the open living room where my father sits.

"That is your Grandpa, Carlisle."

With a quick flick of his wrists, he noisily rustles the morning paper, standing, stalking over, smiling down to say hi to the _'little tyke'._

But Tyler shrinks, hiding behind my mother, peeking out from behind her hip.

I humorously shake my head, baffled by his array of reactions; a little surprised when my dad kneels on the opposite side of my mother, peeking right back.

He always did know how to win people over.

"I heard you want pancakes. Is that true, Tyler?" He asks, and Tyler comes out from hiding, nodding his head.

"Well then you came to the right place. Your Grandma makes the best."

* * *

D'awww krazy kids ;) And yes, I meant to spell it with a 'K', just like the Kardashians. I absolutely adore Khloe :D Oh! And, I'm off again today.. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	175. Chapter 175

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Pancakes are amazing, powerful things.

They're easy to make, taste delicious, and fuel Tyler's confidence, kicking the shy to the side.

"Do you have blueberries?"

Tyler asks in all seriousness, placing a hand on my father's shoulder.

Smiling bigger than big, he shakes off a laugh, looking up to my mother; it's a silent plea for help.

Of course he wouldn't know.

"Yes, we have blueberries. Would you like to put them in?"

Tyler shakes his head, coming over to grab my hand.

"That's my Dad's job. I mix them."

I can see my mother caving, and I know she's going to cry.

Sucking in a breath through her nose, she lets it out with her reply.

"Oh okay, well your uh.. Dad." Her voice breaks, but she clears her throat, holding it in a little longer.

"He knows where everything is. I'm just going to go to the bathroom. Be right back."

I nod, as she turns away, already wiping at her reddening face.

Her reaction is damn near contagious, as I look around, seeing all the red rimmed eyes.

I can feel mine, the sting, but I swallow it down, taking Tyler, and Bella's hands.

And once we're in the kitchen, I remove Tyler's dirtied shoes, lifting him up, and placing him on the counter.

It's our pancake tradition.

* * *

Yay for pancakes! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	176. Chapter 176

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Once my mother face is fixed, she emerges from the bathroom, joining us all gathered round the kitchen island.

We eat, and laugh, and laugh, and eat.

And once Tyler's done, Dad and I take him downstairs, hand in hand to see his toy trains, while Mom and Bella clean up, getting to know one another better.

Tyler loves it, spending hours on end down on his elbows and knees, holding his entranced head in his hands, until it's drooping, dropping to the side.

Picking him up, he protests, but I promise to bring him back sometime soon, and he gives in, resting against my chest.

His Grandparents begrudgingly say goodbye; kissing, and touching his back, his hair, all the way out the door.

It eases to see them so accepting, so attached already, unable to get enough.

The whole drive back there's a smile on my face that I can't wipe off, and even if I could, I wouldn't want to.

"Let's take him back to my house."

Bella suggests, taking my hand, placing it on her knee; slow, slow, slowly sliding it up her inner thigh.

"Charlie's home, he can watch him."

* * *

Oh snap, you know what that means! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	177. Chapter 177

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Nodding, I squeeze where she stops, swallowing the lump in my throat, squirming in my seat.

I try not to focus on the warmth, the heat coming from between her parted thighs as I zigzag along the city streets.

When we finally pull up, I jump out, grabbing our sleeping son, whisking him across the lawn, and through the quiet house, nodding a hello to a lounging Charlie.

I take a second to watch Tyler sleep, the serene set to his innocent face.

I love, love, love him so much, but right now there's nothing more I want to do than love his mother, so I kiss his sleeping head, once, twice, before moving out of the way, and letting Bella have a turn.

"Let's go."

Grabbing my hand, she pulls me through the house, nodding a goodbye to Charlie before we're out the door, across the lawn, and back in my beat up, shit brown Torino.

Out of breath, Bella scoots across ripped leather, breathing heavily on my neck.

"Drive."

* * *

Ooooh, gurlfren, gurlfren *snaps fingers* Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	178. Chapter 178

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Drive, I do; faster than I have in awhile, faster than I ever should, fast; as she touches innocently, her teases a tease of a tease.

It's what she does to me.

I make no sense.

My parking job is crooked, but it doesn't matter.

Ticket me, I don't care.

Tow it; you'd be doing me a favor.

Mumbling a passing greeting, we make our way through the shop, up the creaking stairs, and behind the closed door.

Pushing her up against it, I press, letting her teeth nip, soft lips kiss, up, up, up my stretched neck before ducking, taking her mouth with mine.

Our lips part; tongues tease, as my hands wrap in silky brown hair, pulling, arching, tasting deep, sweet moans.

Fingers flit, lifting lose shirt hems, skimming goose pimpled skin.

I shake, shiver.

This is it, no stopping it, this is happening, and I could just die; by the siphoning swell of my heart, I think I might.

But then we break apart, we breathe, fitfully pulling, tugging, ripping remaining clothing; until we're still, standing there, both staring at barely covering, white, cotton.

Her little hands make the first move, running the length of my scaled stomach, dipping beneath the thin, elastic band, but I stop her, holding that impatient little hand above her pretty, little head.

"You first."

* * *

AAAAAAHHHHHHAHA! You love it. Now, who wants the rest? ;) Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	179. Chapter 179

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Keeping her restrained, my thumb brushes red lips, grazes soft skin, flicks a taut, cherry nipple.

"Mmmm."

Moaning, she squirms, as I bend, taking the other in my mouth, suckling salty-sweet.

"Ungh!"

Letting go of her wrist, I drop to my worshipping knees; kissing, licking, working my way down, down, down, until I stop, pushing my nose into triangular fabric.

I breathe in.

"Oh God, Edward!"

She whispers, pushing forward; crossing, rubbing her toned legs together.

"You smell good."

I murmur against her mound, kissing, gripping the band of her panties, pulling them down.

Lifting each leg, I take them off, throwing them to the side, and I descend, spreading; holding her in place as I bob, lick, tonguing wet, pink flesh.

She whimpers as I whine; sucking, swallowing her down, unable to get enough.

She tastes so good.

"Oh, fuck!"

Her hands tangle my hair, as she bucks, clenching around my probing, lithe muscle.

I let her ride it, slowly pulling out, licking her up, as she stills.

I touch, as I watch her breathe; the puckered, parting of her pink lips, the quickened heave of her bare breasts.

Once she catches her breath, I crawl closer, trying to taste her again, but she stops me, pushing with a halting hand.

"Your turn."

* * *

Oh I'm sorry, were you expecting an a/n? Well, too bad cause I'm D.E.D. ded_ Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	180. Chapter 180

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Bella wiggles, giggling as I kiss, kiss, kiss up her naked body, coming to stand.

"Was that good?" I question, as her little hands dip under loosened elastic.

Pulling it down, she sets me free. "Yeah, it felt really good, Baby; really good."

Her voice sounds breathy with a hint of need.

It makes me twitch.

"Yeah?"

Dropping to her knees, she looks up. "Yeah."

She breathes against my leaking head, cooling the wet skin, heating with the slick of her tongue.

"Fuck."

Cradling her neck, I let her engulf, taking me deep, thrusting one, two, three times before pulling out, and picking her up.

"I love your mouth, Baby." I tell her, kissing it, laying her on top of the fluffy, down comforter.

"But, I don't wanna come in it."

Pulling away from her stroking hand, I go for the condoms in the bedside drawer, but she stops me.

"Hm-mm, we don't need those, I got the shot."

Reaching back out, she wraps her anxious, little hand around my stiff shaft, pumping, licking up collecting pre-cum.

"Shit."

She leaves me painfully hard, as I push her back, spreading, crawling between her open legs.

"I love you."

I comfort, pushing into the shining, pink flesh; slowly sheathing the ache in her soothing, wet warmth.

I watch her, her mouth; parting, she licks, bites her lip. "Mmmm.." She moans.

"Ah, fuck."

Picking up the pace, I pump my hips, pausing to rub my pubic bone against her swelling clit, and she groans, rubbing up against me, meeting me thrust for thrust.

So warm.

So wet.

So tight.

"Oh fuck, Edwarrrd!"

So tight as she flutters, milks, calls out as she comes all around me.

The tingle starts in my toes.

"Fuck Bella, yeah."

Moving up the insides of my thighs, it meets in the middle, stuttering the shift of my hips, and I'm coming.

Coming.

Coming as I jerk; still; choking out a gruff cry.

I'm still twitching, as I collapse, shoving my sweaty face into her chest.

"God.." Breathless, I kiss, kiss, kiss her flushed skin.

"I love you."

* * *

Sorry this took so long, but as you know the last chap killed me ded. Upon being brought back to life, I started this chap, and then died again, so it took me awhile. ;) Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	181. Chapter 181

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

Cuddling, we kiss, touch; studying each other.

Fingertips feel while noses nudge, breathing in naturally scented skin.

"You're so soft." I sigh, scooting down her naked, lounging form, snuggling the smooth of her stomach.

"So soft."

She giggles. "Come back, I miss you."

Groaning, I slink up her curved side, snaking an arm under her head, pulling, holding her close.

My hands knead, tangling in soft, brown silk.

"I'm right here, Baby; not going anywhere."

Lacing our legs, she moves closer, cradling, scratching the scruff on my jaw.

"Never?"  
I shake my head. "Never."

"Never, ever?" She smiles.

Kissing the curved corner of her mouth, I smile too.

"Never, ever."

* * *

Cute, little one for ya since I have to work the next three nights, and needed to let everyone know that you may not be seeing these two for awhile

:( Anybody have any fic recs with a rich, advancing Edward, and a poor, resisting Bella? I need something different from my blue-collar E's. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	182. Chapter 182

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

**********By Your Leave** was nominated for Fic of The Week over at The Lemonade Stand! **tehlemonadestand. net** I updated just for you today, so scoot on over there, and vote for me! Please?! ;) Thanks Nic, for the rec!

* * *

_******E**_

We lie in bed until the sun goes down, until Bella whines, rolling off the bed, and onto the brand-new, knitted rug that's covering the dingy, old, hard-wood floor.

She doesn't bother dressing, bending at the waist, digging around in a pile of strewn clothes.

I may have whimpered.

Pulling out her phone, she walks back over touching, just touching, always touching.

I love it.

I love her.

'_I love you.' _She mouths, kissing my lips quickly before pulling away, taking my heart, my hand with her.

She tells her dad she'll be home soon, and I pout, protruding my bottom lip, shaking my head.

Once she hangs up, I pull her back down beside me, holding her bare back tightly against my naked chest, and she flinches away, laughing, turning to face me.

"Your rings are cold."

Flicking the hard metal, she wiggles down my front, placing her mouth around me, heating the shiny, cool silver.

I hiss as she tugs it with her pearly-white teeth, dropping it, covering me again, doing the same to the other.

Rising to my knees, I lay her back, spreading her, crawling between her slick, open legs.

She's covered.

Covered in me.

In us.

And, I want her to stay.

I don't want her to go.

Ever.

"Don't go." I beg, sheathing myself fully, stilling, basking inside her welcoming warmth.

"Stay, always."

* * *

**By Your Leave** was nominated for Fic of The Week over at The Lemonade Stand! **tehlemonadestand. net **I updated just for you today, so scoot on over there, and vote for me! Please?! ;) Thanks Nic, for the rec! Thank you for reading and reviewing!


	183. Chapter 183

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_******E**_

We lie winded; tangled, sweaty, and sated.

"Stay."

I mutter into the citrusy sheen of her hair, breathing it in.

She pulls back.

Smiling, nuzzling my nose, she kisses it; my lips.

"I can't stay."

She rolls away, but I pull her back.

"Yes you can. We'll go get Tyler; you both can."

Humming a laugh, she shakes her head, not hearing me.

"I don't just want you to stay the night, Bella."

Running the length of her jaw, I lift her chin, seeking her deep, brown eyes.

Those eyes.

They need to understand.

"I want you two to _stay_."

* * *

**********By Your Leave** was nominated for Fic of The Week over at The Lemonade Stand! **tehlemonadestand. net** One more day to vote, and.. "I say this is from the deepest part of my heart".. Grabbing your hand, I passionately implore you. "What are you waiting for?" - Anybody know what that's from and who said it?! Thanks Nic, for the rec!


	184. Chapter 184

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

**_E_**

"Edward..I"

Stopping, she grabs my hand, looking down at it, stroking the fingers with her thumb.

"I don't think that's such a good idea."

My heart sinks with her words; the first negative words I've heard come from her pretty mouth.

It hurts.

"Okay." I pull away, but she holds tight, sucking in a breath, holding it, letting it out.

"It's not like that, it's just.." She stops again, looking up, looking back down.

"Just?.." I impatiently gesture for her to continue, and she closes her eyes, furrowing her brow.

I'm being a complete ass.

I sound like a complete ass.

I _am_ a complete ass.

"I'm sorry." Leaning in, I kiss the crease from her forehead.

Repenting lips pressed to her skin, I urge. "Tell me."

Pulling back, she sweeps the room with an outstretched hand. "There's not enough space."

Huffing, I pull my eyes away from her, taking a good look around.

The too-big bed is boxed in; nearly pressed against walls, and it's open, no door; I can see the couch from where I sit.

Of course there's not enough space; I know there's not.

But, I still want this.

"Okay, then I'll move out. We'll get a bigger place, one with a door; no problem."

Dropping her shy, brown eyes, she hides; whispers.

"Really?"

Lifting her bent chin, I pull the tasty lip from her teeth, and kiss it.

"Really."

* * *

That quote was from Something's Gotta Give, Diane Keaton says it to her daughter while they're sitting on the beach, after one of her infamous cry fests. :D Only 4 hours left to vote! **tehlemonadestand. net** Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	185. Chapter 185

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

Thank you to everyone who voted for **By Your Leave** in **TLS Fic of The Week Poll**! It means so, so much to me to be in the **Fab 5**! Thank you Nic for rec-ing! Thank you **LayAtHomeMom** for pimping! You guys are the best! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you all! Oh, and if you haven't checked out **In Your Room **by none other than my personal pimp **LayAtHomeMom, **then you're missing out on some genuine hilarity! She has this amazing ability to make me LOL!

* * *

_**E**_

"Goddamn, this thing fucking itches." I gripe as I carefully scratch my upper arm; meticulously picking around the sticky edges of this Godforsaken patch.

Quitting has been miserable.

My last cigarette was two weeks ago, and I couldn't have picked a worse time to stop.

Smacking my hand away, Jasper yanks down the sleeve of my tee, punching me in the shoulder.

"Ow, man! What the fuck?" Rubbing the sore, un-worked muscle, I frown at the side of his smiling face, and he shrugs.

"If you keep fucking with it, it'll never stop."

Scowling, I go back to studying a new sketch, and when I unconsciously lift my sleeve again, he throws another punch, this time right over the patch.

"You're welcome."

I'm about to hand him my thanks when the copper-coated clang of the bell restrains the pound of my fist.

Her sound, her scent calms, calls me, and I jump off the stool, hurriedly making my way around the hollow, clear counter.

I crash into her, wrapping sure, and sore arms around her small shoulders.

Burrowing my nose into the citrusy-silk of her hair, I kiss it, walking her back, back, backwards, and out the door.

"Have you heard anything?"

* * *

Wonder what they're waiting to hear!? Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	186. Chapter 186

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**E**_

Bella holds tight as she tilts her pretty head back.

"They won't budge, and we can't afford that."

She purses her lips, and I kiss the cute, little, pink pout.

Resting my forehead against hers, I sigh, closing my tired eyes.

"I was thinking maybe I could rent out the apartment. With the extra income we could do it. We could even fix it up a little."

Rolling the long, soft ends of her hair between my fingers, I wait for her to say something, but she doesn't, so I continue.

"I know the place isn't that great, but we could paint, ya know. Tyler's room could be the same color blue, and our room.. paint it pink for all I care. As long as you two are there, nothing else matters."

I wait again, but she still doesn't say anything, so I open my eyes, pulling back.

Her beautiful face is blotched, and streaked; reddened from the absence of her cries, wet with streams of silent tears running down her cheeks.

Her held sob chokes out as I cradle her tight jaw, wiping them away.

"Are you serious?" She blubbers, and while it breaks my heart to see her this way, I smile.

I smile through the tugging pain of her happy tears, and she smiles back.

"I'm serious."

* * *

Last one for the night! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	187. Chapter 187

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**E**_

"I can't believe we bought a house."

Leaning back, Bella sighs, watching me fill in the point of the feather; the last, and final tuft of quill.

It's bittersweet.

The completion of what finally brought us back together; our last night in this place.

"A house." She states, smiling as I flip the switch, putting an end to the faint buzz.

Covering the sensitive, swollen skin, I leave my mess on the tray.

"All done."

Hovering over her, I kiss the curve of her lips, straddling the outstretched foot of the chair, thankful my parents jumped at the chance to keep Tyler for the night.

"I love it." Bella whispers, as I lift each leg, sitting, resting her knit tights against the rough of my jeans.

"I love_ you._" I whisper back, running my thumbs up the thin seam of her inner thighs, up, up, up to where they meet her heat.

"I love your hands."

Labored breath, she whimpers, pressing into the pad of my passing thumb.

Scooting closer, I spread her further, dipping the tips of my fingers under the waist of her tights.

Willingly, she raises her hips; lifts her legs straight up in the air, as I pull them from her, kissing; kissing up the soft, alabaster skin, resting it back against each jean clad thigh.

Sitting up, she reaches for my buckle, popping the button, lowering the catching brass of the zipper.

"Please."

Frustrated, she tugs, and I lean back, smirking, giving her the space she needs.

The smugness fades when she pulls me free, stroking my hardening shaft, covering the head with the wet of her mouth.

"Mmm, yeah." I guide her bobbing head, watching the stretched coax of pink lips, pushing deep, so close as she moans.

"Fuck." Lifting her with a jerk, I pull her onto my throbbing lap, parting hot, wet flesh.

"Shit."

Holding her close, I plunge, filling her deep with slow, short thrusts.

Clinging, she moans, groans, meeting me sure and sweet, as her head falls back, smooth walls sop, soaking me, the chair.

So. Fucking. Hot. as she comes all over my chair.

"Fuck, yeah, yeah.. fuck."

Dropping my head to her heaving chest, I pulse, pump, pump, pumping my lustful love into her, and we still, wrapping leg, and limb, mouthing the same hard, heavy breath.

"_I love you, I love you, I love you."_

* * *

The next chapter is the last chapter. The last, and final chapter of their short, and so, so sweet story! *Cries* And, you can't be mad at me cause even though I don't like to toot my own horny horn, that was some hot shit. ;) Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	188. Chapter 188

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**E**_

"Consider this your house warming, slash wedding gift. I'm not giving you two." Emmett informs, picking up a freshly covered roller.

Shaking it in my face, he splatters Payne's Gray all over Jasper, and the dated carpet, giving me one more good reason to rip it up.

"Shut it, and get to rolling so we can get this out of here. I doubt Edward wants to carry his brand new bride across the threshold of this shaggy, brown shit."

Grinning from ear to ear, I turn back to the wall, starting on the third coat of cheap paint, hell-bent on getting this; our room honeymoon ready.

_**B**_

Sitting here in my too-old, terrycloth robe, I pick at a loose string, staring off into my illuminated reflection.

Eyes sparkling under the burning bulbs of my mother's abandoned vanity, I trace the upward curve of my lips, coating them with a shining sheen, not sure why I even bother; I'll soon just be picking, pulling stray hairs free from the cling of the clear gloss.

"Hey Mom, when do I get to hold the rings? Is it time yet?"

Running in, Tyler questions, climbing up into my lap, and I watch him through the mirror; picking up, putting down, and rearranging the array of products aligned on the counter.

Attempting to read the labels, his strong brow furrows just like his father's. He may have my identical brown eyes, but everything else is Edward; purely, unmistakably Edward.

It used to break my heart, still does, but in a very different way; a very different, very good way.

"Almost, Baby." Kissing the back of his damp, clean hair, I set him down on his growing, bare feet, patting his towel covered bottom.

"Go on and have Grandpa help you get dressed. I'll be out in a minute." Flashing, he holds the end of the towel around his neck, taking off like a bat out of hell, or better yet, Batman, and I turn back to the woman who's smiling, happy, staring right back at me.

_**E**_

Placing the last piece of the room on the bedside table, I plug it in; switching it on, admiring the colorful glow of Bella's favorite stained glass lamp.

Pulling the sweaty, spotted shirt over my head, I take a look around.

The white wash trim, pops off the calming blue-gray of the drying walls; matches the cotton covered down of the fluffy comforter.

It's exactly what she wanted; classy, elegant; it soothes; goes great with the dark, Jacobean stain of the once hidden, wood floor.

It's the only room in the house that's complete, the only one that matters for now; tonight.

Our wedding night.

"You better get in the shower, and get dressed before Alice finds you still covered in specks of dried paint." Rose scolds, clickity-clacking past the open door, not bothering to stop. "And, you might want to open some windows; I got a buzz just walking by."

Doing as she says, I silently chuckle, shaking my head; her being the only one that never stopped making drug references around me.

Finally shutting the door, I strip down, taking a steaming, hot shower, scraping the scaly surface of my skin, under blue-gray discoloration of my nails.

Toweling off, I profusely sweat, just keep sweating; empty stomach tied in knots, I towel off again before getting dressed, pulling on slinky-soft, and black and white.

Alice picked it out, suit tail and all, and as long as Bella's happy, I'm happy.

I just want to get this over with, and out of the spotlight; her out of her dress, me out of this suit; the way it should be.

Always.

Forever.

Now.

Now.

Now.

I'm ready; more than ready when Alice comes to get me; leads me through the unpacked wreckage, and out the back door into.. into..

"Holy shit, Alice."

_**B**_

The covering branches of the trees are twinkling, swaying, alive as the stars in the darkened September sky. The white peony laid aisle is lined, filed with white, wood chairs, filled with friends, family, all our loved ones.

I know they're there.

I know, but I don't see them.

I see the small, suited form of my son; our son, balancing the silk, tied silver on a square, poofed pillow. He's cautious, handling the precious metal with care as he holds it out, handing it to his father.

Edward.

My breath catches; taking in the black on white, how it flatters, how the beautifully, contrasting ink peeks out from the wrists of his fitted, black jacket, the neck of his pristine, white shirt.

My heart beats, pounds, drowning out the sound of the recorded string quartet.

Skin tingles, burns as I touch, taking his hand in mine.

Brown eyes moisten, blurring the green, and I blink.

"You look beautiful."

_**E**_

I tell her.

I tell her what I see; she's beautiful; she should know; she should be told.

Always.

"So beautiful."

Wiping the streaks of her fallen tears, I kiss her quivering lips; moving backwards.

But, what hasn't?

Everything about us is backwards-beautiful.

We make it through our solemn vows; saying them with our mouths, conveying them with our locked eyes.

Husband and wife, we kiss, kiss, kiss again; again, and again until there's a tug on the end of my coat tail.

Bending, I pick up our reaching son, propping him on my hip that he's quickly getting too heavy for, and I kiss his sweaty head, kiss his mother, my wife's sweet, puckered lips.

Walking the aisle together we greet our guests, eat, and drink, and dance late into the swaying, tree lit night.

And, as we hand over our passed-out son, I kiss my crying mother, hug my shoulder-slapping father, shake the hand of the man that gave me his blessing to marry his only daughter.

Impatiently, I lead a blindfolded Bella through unseen stacks of unpacked boxes, closing our bedroom door behind us.

The smell of wet paint lingers as I kiss her long, soft neck, lowering the tie from her eyes.

I take in the shock of her open mouth, watching, letting her walk around, touch everything in sight, and then she's touching me.

Touching, tasting; undressing we trip, tumbling into the cushioned bedding.

Her giggles subside, as I settle against her, lying between her spread thighs.

"I want to start over, start from the beginning. I want to be there from the beginning." Smoothing the soft of her hair, I kiss the pink of her lips, plead with the brown of her eyes. "Let's make a baby."

Kissing, she cradles my jaw; closing her eyes as salty tears fall, mixing with the sweet of her mouth.

She pulls away; crying, nodding.

"Okay yes, let's make a baby."

**.**

**.**

**.**

_**One Year Later**_

_**E**_

My steadily beating heart thumps against my chest, leaving me weak, dizzy, it shortens my breath.

Practically bouncing, I wring my shaky hands; refrain from pacing, as Tyler lets go, and leaves my side, climbing up onto the bed with his mother; my wife, and our precious bundle of baby joy.

She's beautiful, beautiful; swaddled in a sea of soft, baby-girl pink.

It's what they call it, _swaddling._

They had me try, but I couldn't.

I could barely cut the cord, I was trembling so badly.

"Do you want to hold her?"

Bella's tired voice calms me, and I subtly shake out the tremor, sitting on the edge of the bed.

I figure it's safer; sitting, being low to the ground.

I don't trust myself; don't know if I ever will.

Holding out my arms, Bella places her safely in them, instructing on how to hold her head.

"That's good. You look really good, Daddy." Rubbing, kissing my shoulder, she shows her support.

Her hands, her mouth, her spoken words of encouragement make me stronger, steadier, ready to be the man that her, Tyler, this little girl needs.

She saves me from myself, makes me more than who, what I think I am.

Always.

Kate, my baby girl's eyes shine green just like mine; the only trait we share.

Parted, pink lips, rose-colored cheeks; the rest is all Bella, and I'm thankful she's beautiful just like her mother.

I watch the flux of her tiny chest; listen to the quickened, occasional short snort of her breath as Tyler crawls over just as much in awe as I am; cooing when she coos, smiling when she smiles.

I kiss his sweaty hair, as he leans forward kissing his sister's head; chuckling as she screams out in amused approval.

Tearing my eyes away, I turn back to my wife, kissing her resting forehead, her always ready lips.

Thanking her every which way I know how.

"Thank you."

_Kiss._

"Thank you."

_Kiss._

"I love you."

_Kiss._

_Kiss._

_Kiss._

_**The End**_

* * *

Thank you all for coming on this amazing ride with me. I really enjoyed writing these two. It's always a little bittersweet coming to an end, but every story has to sometime, and theirs had a good go. Thank you all for your kind words. I love, love, loved all of your reviews. I read each and every one of them! It means so much to me to just have people reading and enjoying! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Until we meet again..


	189. Chapter 189

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

**So, this is an outtake of the party where he saw her too.**

* * *

**_B_**

This party's bumpin', or so says Jess, as we walk into the crowd of mingling bodies, and floating red cups.

The further we get, the more I feel it; what she means.

Deep bass burrows into my chest, changing, replacing the beat of my nervous heart.

It seeps bone deep, deafens; I'm dizzy.

Dizzy.

Dizzy.

Dizzy.

Can't breathe.

Why did I come here?

I didn't like it any other time, why would I like it now?

I don't belong here.

Why?

Why?

Why did I come here?

Breathing heavily, I lean back, resting my head against the wall.

My stinging eyes close; open; close; open.

That's why.

* * *

Couldn't leave these two just yet. Who wants more? Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	190. Chapter 190

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

**Party continued..**

* * *

**_B_**

He's straight ahead.

Twelve o'clock, straight ahead.

I see that smile, his smile; the pearly white shine of his music-muted laughter.

That laughter.

I heard it once, but that was enough.

I remember.

I remember how it sounds.

Boisterous.

Beautiful.

It warms my already warm cheeks; stretches, strains them.

His smile makes me smile; makes me suffer.

Openly watching him, my chest burns, beats.

My body sways with the music, the shiny-smooth of his hair.

That hair; the way he pulls, plays, yanks on the ends with his fingers.

Those long fingers.

I've heard things about them; good things.

Good, heartbreaking things.

Pushing further into the sturdy wall, I hold on; hold on tight with the pads of my not-so-long fingers.

I need some air, but I'd rather be here; pressed up against this wall; drowning in this swell of unshed tears, painfully smiling when he smiles.

Eyes lifting, he looks back down, tugs at the ends of copper-colored chaos.

Almost.

So close.

_Look at me._

_Look at me._

_Look._

_Look._

_Look._

_See me._

_See me._

_See._

_See._

_See._

And, then he does.

* * *

Gah! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	191. Chapter 191

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

**Party continued..**

* * *

_**Bella**_

Dropping his gaze, he takes my lungs, my heart.

They fold, it breaks.

I got my wish.

I got my plea.

He looked; he saw; he turned away.

Just turned away.

Pushing off the supporting wall, I go in search; for Jess, for air; a sating, solo savior.

I don't know.

Just something, anything; anything to get my mind off that hair, that jaw, those eyes; the one's that looked, saw, passively passed me over.

Seeing Jess, I walk up behind her, tapping her on the shoulder.

"I wanna go." I say, staring at the sticky, beer and who-knows-what-else covered linoleum, and she turns, handing me my answer.

I take it, gulp it down, and cringe.

_Blech!_

"We just got here." Turning away, she goes back to giggling; shyly shrugging a shoulder, to touch the twinkling lobe of her multi-pierced ear.

I hate her in this moment, more than I've ever hated her, and I've hated her.

I hate the way she seductively sways, running a hand down the edge of Goatee's dated, jean jacket.

'Bro's before hoes' is her number one motto, so guess what she lovingly calls me.

Staring for a beat more, I turn on my heel, winding my way back through the thickening crowd to find my wall taken, covered in contradiction, lined with mingling flowers.

Spinning, seeking, not finding a place to hide, my aching neck closes, bends; prickles poke at my down cast eyes.

This is the point, the point of breaking.

But, I don't.

Feeling a slow trail of warm, rough skin skim my skin, I look up.

Up into deep, pine green, and pinpoint black.

And, I don't break.

Not yet.

* * *

:))) Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	192. Chapter 192

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta for this one. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

**Party continued..**

* * *

**_B_**

"You're pretty." He says, crooking that lazy smile.

And, it's all I can do; all I can do to not die right here, right here on the stained, worn fibers of this terrible, terracotta-orange carpeting.

Everything, everything inside me stirs, flips, turning upside down then right side up, and I burn, burn so good, as his fingers slip in, run through the strands of my hair before placing it behind my ear.

Talking and touching, it's all too much.

He's too much; his voice, his breath, the slowed in and out of his chest grazing the skin of my arm, and his fingers; his fingers are rough, but soft, gentle.. long.

I like it.

I like them.

I want more as my lungs fill, heart mends; inflating, swelling so full I think they might burst, and then I might die.

I might, but I'd die happy.

I'd die a happy girl.

Standing here thinking about dying happy, he stands the same, staring, not entirely seeming to notice that I haven't said a word, not one word, and now, now I _want_ to die.

"I like your brown eyes." Cradling my dropped jaw, he steps closer; impossibly closer, but not close enough. "The way they sparkle in the moonlight.. I like them."

Smile breaking, I laugh- short and loud, and he smiles back, chuckling softly, quietly; appeasing he dismisses, lightly wrapping those long, gently-rough fingers around my wrist.

He pulls me along, looking back, flashing that languid, side-mouthed smirk before stopping in the middle of the room, spinning, turning to hold me by the waist; flush and firm.

"Dance with me."

* * *

The fandom choice award nominees are up, and my beta **Sunflowerfran3759** has been nominated for excellence in editing! Which she deserves because she makes me look pretty, and seem smart, and I would be lost without her! GO VOTE!** thefandomchoiceawards. blogspot. com** **The Cullen Family** Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	193. Chapter 193

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta for this one. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

**Bella takes the test..**

* * *

**_B_**

Two minutes.

Two minutes to go, and then I'll know; I'll know for sure.

'Please.'

'Please.'

'Please.'

I chant, sitting, rocking on the closed lid of the toilet; rubbing, wiping my sweaty palms up and down the soft cotton of my sleep pants.

'Please.'

'Please.'

'Please.'

'This can't be happening.'

'This _can't_ happen.'

'Please.'

Maybe if I say it enough, wish it hard enough, maybe it won't; maybe it won't be happening; maybe it won't happen.

Looking down at my father's borrowed, wrist watch, I close my eyes.

One minute.

With one minute to go, I keep them closed; remembering, playing out the cherished, fleeting moments that lead to this drawn-out, dreaded one.

His lips on my lips- I touch them, remembering the soft, firm rightness in that kiss, in all the few kisses he gave me.

"_I'm hers."_ He said, proud and sure, and I believed him.

I think; I know I always will.

_"Bella, you got my watch in there? I need it. I gotta go, Baby."_

_Baby._

My stomach turns with the word, and I stand, quickly lifting the lid to purge the non-existent contents of my empty stomach.

I haven't kept anything down for days.

"Just a minute!" My hoarse voice strains, as I wipe away the stinging tears, and I can hear Charlie's concern through the hollow wood of the door.

'_Bella, are you okay?'_

'_Are you sick?'_

'_Do you think it's the flu?'_

No, I don't think; I hope, I wish, I pray.

But, those aren't enough.

They weren't, aren't, never will be enough to erase those two, little, pink lines that slowly appear, darkening with every passing second I stare.

'No.'

* * *

The fandom choice award nominees are up, and my beta **Sunflowerfran3759** has been nominated for excellence in editing! Which she deserves because she makes me look pretty, and seem smart, and I would be lost without her! GO VOTE!** thefandomchoiceawards. blogspot. com** **The Cullen Family** Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	194. Chapter 194

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

No Beta. Mistakes are my own.

* * *

The Parlor was nominated over at **twifanfictionrecs. com** for top 10 completed fics of December! So, head on over and vote for it.. ya know, if ya want. ; ) Big THANK YOU to the person who submitted this fic!

This is an argument between Bella and her dad.. She heard Edward had OD'd, was in the hospital, and she wants to go see him.

* * *

_**Bella**_

"You're not going." Slamming the #1 Dad mug down against the counter, Charlie chips a corner off the contradicting cup.

"I am." I declare, proud as the man that made me; standing my ground on swollen, aching feet that I can't even see.

"No, you're not, and that's final." Picking up the jagged piece of glass, he tosses it toward the trashcan sitting across the room, missing the first try.

"Dad.."

When he sighs, I think I have him; until he walks over, pulling me into those flannelled, outstretched arms, kissing the top of my head.

"Listen to me, Baby." And, then he says those words.

"He's sick, and you don't need to see it, and he doesn't need to see you." Pointing to my protruding stomach, his eyes soften. "He doesn't need to know; not yet."

* * *

Don't forget to vote! **twifanfictionrecs. com** Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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